Guy Who Threw Hard Seltzer Cans at Ted Cruz Says What Every Leftist Should Say in the Mirror Every Morning

AP Photo/Patrick Semansky

On Monday, the Houston Astros held their World Series victory parade, and Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), a big Astros fan, happily took part. A splendid time was had by all except for one Joseph Arcidiacono, who saw Cruz riding by on a float, waving to the crowd, and seized the opportunity to express his thoughtful, considered, disagreement with Cruz’s principled conservatism.


Arcidiacono, who sports a nose ring and fashionable two-tone hair, and whose political positions you already know down to the very last detail, chucked two full cans of White Claw hard seltzer at the senator, missing with one and striking a glancing blow with the other. When he was arrested, however, Arcidiacono did something constructive for once: he made a statement that every Leftist should look into the mirror and repeat every morning.

The issue at hand was more about legitimizing Leftist violence against those they hate. Arcidiacono’s coming trial will likely be highly influenced by the political proclivities of the officials involved. Meanwhile, the New York Post reported Tuesday that Arcidiacono, 33, “made his initial court appearance overnight and was charged with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.” Houston’s KTRK noted that Arcidiacono’s bond was set at $40,000, and he “will have to meet various bond conditions, including not going within 1000 feet of the senator’s work or home, wearing a GPS monitoring device, making no threats to Cruz and no drugs, alcohol or guns.”

The judge was apparently unmoved by the argument from Arcidiacono’s attorney (a luckless public defender) that bond should be only $100 because the White Claw cans weren’t heavy enough to do serious damage. The crusading Defender of The People argued that “she questions the charge since she doesn’t believe the cans meet the requirements of being considered a deadly weapon. She cited a 2003 Texas criminal appeals case that required that a deadly weapon object have more than a hypothetical capability of causing death or serious bodily injury. The attorney said that Arcidiacono was standing about 20 feet away from Cruz and that the officer’s statements in the case don’t meet those requirements.”


Imagine if this sort of argument carried the day: it would be open season on Cruz and other defiantly conservative public officials, as Leftists would feel free to throw virtually anything they wished at them, as long as it wasn’t capable of causing death or serious bodily injury.

Related: The Left Doesn’t Believe the American People Are Smart Enough to Govern Themselves

Meanwhile, Arcidiacono gave us the indelible words that every Leftist should say in the mirror every morning: “According to details read in court,” KTRK reports, “the suspect made a statement after he was detained, saying ‘I know I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.’”

“I know I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.” Perfect, Arcidiacono! I think men can become women, and vice versa, and that prepubescent children should be encouraged to make life-altering, irreversible decisions that they may (and probably will) bitterly regret once they’re old enough to know better. I know I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. I think having a country that guards its borders and protects its people is racist. I know I’m an idiot. I’m sorry! I think that Old Joe Biden is a capable, competent president who has been beset with bad luck, and that we need to elect more people who will further his hard-Left, socialist, America-Last agenda that will destroy large sectors of the American economy (oil and coal, for starters) in pursuit of a “solution” to a propaganda fantasy (climate change): I know I’m an idiot! I’m sorry!


Cruz tweeted Monday: “As always I’m thankful for the Houston Police and Capitol Police for their quick action. I’m also thankful that the clown who threw his White Claw had a noodle for an arm.” I’m thankful for Joseph Arcidiacono, too, for giving us this all-purpose Leftist slogan. Young Arcidiacono should consider a career in politics. Can you see the yard signs for his Congressional campaign? “Vote Arcidiacono: He Knows He’s An Idiot, And He’s Sorry.”

Can we get some of these made up for Nancy Pelosi? Chuck Schumer? Liz Cheney? Mitt Romney? Old Joe Biden himself, should he make good on his threat to inflict his pseudo-presidency upon us for another senescent four years? Oh, wait, they don’t know that they’re idiots and aren’t sorry. And so Joseph Arcidiacono has a leg up on all of them: here at last is an honest Leftist.


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