Give this, not that

I started to write a political post this morning but I decided to take a break and post about something more cheerful–holiday gifts. With Hanukkah and Christmas around the corner, many of us are trying to find uplifting books as gifts for those who are going through trying times. Here are my suggestions for a few of those types: br /br /If you want something for a family member or friend who is expecting a child or has a young child, I recommend the book, a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0618918094?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=0618918094″emThe Optimistic Child/em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=0618918094″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / by Martin Seligmen (my review a href=”http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2008/11/optimistic-child.html”is here/a). The book is upbeat and very helpful for new or parents of young children. I don’t suggest books such as a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0761521364?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=0761521364″emSetting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries/em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=0761521364″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / for holiday gifts as this might send the message to the parent that they have a problem with the kids, which, of course, they might, but it is not the best idea to let them know this at Christmas. Suggest this excellent book, instead, if you are asked for advice at a later time. Sure, your family member’s kids might be driving you bananas with their crummy behavior during the holidays, but it would be best not to rub it in the parent’s faces at Christmas but wait until a more opportune moment. br /br /Ditto giving a book such as Albert Ellis’s a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0818404566?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=0818404566″emHow to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything/em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=0818404566″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / for a holiday gift to a depressed friend, it might send the signal that you think they are miserable, which, again, you might, but it would be better to give such a book if sought for advice, not as a gift. Perhaps a more appropriate title would be a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400078393?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=1400078393″emLearned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life./em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=1400078393″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / The title sounds more upbeat and does not include the word miserable in the title, suggesting that is what you think they are. br /br /Finally, for a friend going through a divorce or break–up do not hand them a copy of a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1416909532?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=1416909532″emHe’s Just Not That Into You: Your Daily Wake-Up Call/em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=1416909532″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / but rather, give them a more suitable title such as a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743222989?ie=UTF8tag=wwwviolentkicomlinkCode=as2camp=1789creative=9325creativeASIN=0743222989″emAuthentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment./em/aimg src=”http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=wwwviolentkicoml=as2o=1a=0743222989″ width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” / It shows you believe they can be happy again.br /br /Remember, titles mean a lot when giving a gift of a book. Make sure the gift comes across as an act of caring rather than one of criticism. If you have other suggestions for uplifting books that would be good gifts for those who are going through trying times at the holidays, share your selections in the comment section.