One of the signs of a healthy young person is his or her ability to mock our strangely entitled generation. From “affirmative consent” to microaggressions, millennials really know how to have fun! And we’re super chill and down to earth about our simple orders of a skim, non-fat, half-caf, semisweet mocha with Stevia and whipped cream.
So, on one particular Wednesday, #MillennialFlirting went viral because we millennials are particularly fun to mock (we know, we do it ourselves!). The results are wonderful, and PJ Media had to share the top 16. You’re welcome.
16. We’re not hipster at all.
Why don’t we go for cold brew coffee and you can show me your unicycle’s Instagram and I’ll talk about my huge beard. #MillennialFlirting
— Tommy Campbell (@MrTommyCampbell) June 8, 2016
15. Can I get written consent … to ask what your name is?
Hey there, could I get written consent to ask you what your name is?
— Furby.jpg (@duckspeakeasy) June 8, 2016
The Federal Government’s Sexual Reign of Terror on College Campuses
Next Page: Ugh, flirting is so sexist … patriarchy!
14. I can’t flirt, it’s against my religion.
I don’t flirt. Flirting is a social construct created by the patriarchy to oppress and enslave women. #MillennialFlirting — Leah the Boss (@LeahRBoss) June 8, 2016
13. The perfect winning formula — modern poetry in its finest essence.
Your eyes are like deep pools of organically sourced spring water carried by monks who also make bracelets for charity. #MillennialFlirting — Scott DeYager (@ScottDeYager) June 8, 2016
Next Page: What a millennial date looks like — with as many descriptive pronouns as possible.
12. Here’s a simple order.
Wanna split a vegan, soy-free, gluten-free, non-GMO, organic Acai bowl? #MillennialFlirting — Miranda Gonzalez (@miradolll) June 8, 2016
11. Oooh, so romantic!
“I’ll let you in my #SafeSpace tonight if you use my right pronouns.” #MillennialFlirting — Leah the Boss (@LeahRBoss) June 8, 2016
Next Page: What it means to share your life with a millennial.
10. Want to share some … student loan debt?
You look like the kind of person that I would want to spend the rest of my life paying off my student loan debt with. #MillennialFlirting — Halle Thomas (@lalamydear) June 8, 2016
9. What dating will look like under President Sanders.
No need to flirt, dates will be distributed equally among the people. #MillennialFlirting pic.twitter.com/tjjeeR10hI — Countermoonbat (@CounterMoonbat) June 8, 2016
Next Page: Meet me at Starbucks before the rally against capitalism.
8. This one image says so much…
“Hey girl, meet me at Starbucks before the rally against capitalism.” #MillennialFlirting pic.twitter.com/iLdNtXjbp6 — Countermoonbat (@CounterMoonbat) June 8, 2016
7. Promises, promises.
I promise not to retract my consent in the morning. #MillennialFlirting — (((Some Sarah))) (@FoundersGirl) June 8, 2016
Next Page: The essential question in any millennial relationship…
6. Seriously, the answer is important.
Your mom’s basement or mine? #MillennialFlirting — Vapo Rob (@Vapo_Rob) June 8, 2016
5. The same stuff is oppressing us.
“I feel like we’re alienated by the same bourgeoisie propaganda.” #millennialflirting — holly wood (@girlziplocked) June 8, 2016
Next Page: The kind of drink you get her is very important.
4. Get the order right!
Let me buy you a drink. An artisanal, organic, gluten-free, humanely sourced, deconstructed drink that voted independent #MillennialFlirting — Tim Owens (@thehobbymen) June 8, 2016
3. So much free-dom!
Hey, beautiful. Can I buy you a gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, nut-free, egg-free, free-range, fair trade latte? #MillennialFlirting — Veronica Brush (@ThemelessWritin) June 8, 2016
Next Page: You can totally appropriate my culture. Just saying’
2. So politically incorrect … Geez!
#MillennialFlirting “I wouldn’t mind it if you appropriated my culture.” *wink* — Lovely 4 Prez! (@__L_O_V_E_L_Y_) June 8, 2016
1. I identify as your girlfriend.
“I identify as ur gf” #MillennialFlirting — Michelle Catlin (@CatlinNya) June 8, 2016
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