News & Politics

Witches Unite to Cast Spell Against Donald Trump

The left is desperate. They have no power in Congress, they don’t control the White House any longer, and any hope of taking the Supreme Court vaporized the moment Donald Trump won the presidential election. It doesn’t look good for progressives.

Luckily, it seems they may have an ace in their hole. The power of witchcraft:

Want to cast a spell on Donald Trump?

A document detailing how to cast a spell that would bind Trump and all who abet him has been circulating the web in both private and public witchcraft groups, and even those who don’t regularly practice the craft are seizing the opportunity to use magic to stop the President. There have been marches, petitions, and demonstrations against the Donald Trump, but is definitely the most magical way to #resist.

The ritual is to be done at the stroke of midnight on waning crescent moon ritual days, which are February 24th (midnight, Friday evening), March 26th, April 24th, May 23rd, June 21st (especially important as it is the summer solstice) etc. until Trump leaves office.

Well, it looks like the White House is in trouble now, doesn’t it?

I’ve known a lot of people who called themselves “witches” in my day. Some are good people, and some are still good friends of mine. I don’t agree with their faith, but since they don’t agree with mine, it’s all good. (A couple of them are ardent Trump supporters, for the record.)

But let’s be honest — if these witches had any real ability to affect U.S. policy, wouldn’t they have done so long before now?

If they could do anything, perhaps they could use that magical prowess to combat ISIS and bind them from harming folks? I mean, Trump says mean things and ISIS throws gay people off of buildings, so who is worse?

Of course, there are times when the president has no choice but to harm folks. Would the witches of America prefer to find ourselves invaded by a foreign power because the government is magically prevented from responding to an attack?

Luckily, for both Trump and the nation, this won’t do anything besides let the participants feel warm and fuzzy inside because they’ve “stuck it to the man,” and not much else. Of course, those who take part in this will attribute every decent thing he does to their spell, and every single thing they dislike to not enough people casting their woo on him.

The rest of us will get to sit back and laugh, so maybe their spell won’t be a complete waste of time.