Full disclosure: the only thing I know about Greenland is that you have to fly over it to get from Los Angeles to London. It may very well be great in its own Greenland-y kind of way, but it could reach even greater heights if it had a nice, new coat of United Freakin’ States of America all over it.
This is an idea I’ve loved since President Trump first suggested it. Sure, a lot of people thought he was joking, but when does Trump ever joke about buying real estate?
We live in a world and a time where reality, satire, and parody have all been thrown into one big cosmic Vitamix and blended until they are indistinguishable. So…why not Greenland.
Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) took his two Harvard degrees over to The New York Times to explain just why our real estate mogul POTUS may be onto something.
After news leaked last week that President Trump had expressed interest in acquiring Greenland from Denmark, his critics predictably derided him as crazy. But once again, the president is crazy like a fox. The acquisition of Greenland would secure vital strategic interests for the United States, economically benefit both us and Greenlanders, and would be in keeping with American — and Danish — diplomatic traditions.
Strategically positioned in the Arctic Circle, Greenland has long attracted the attention of American policymakers. As far back as 1867, Secretary of State William Seward explored the acquisition of Greenland around the time that he negotiated the purchase of Alaska from the Russians. I myself raised the prospect of acquiring Greenland with the Danish ambassador just last year.
Take that, haters!
This country has needed some big, original thinking for a long time now. While the liberals are forever looking for new ways to suck the joy out of our lives and diminish American achievement, Trump’s all, “You know…Greenland is just sitting there.”
We haven’t done a major real estate deal in over 150 years and we’re certainly not picking up any new territory via warfare these days, so buying Greenland is looking better and better if the U.S. is going to remind the world what’s what.
Sen. Cotton again:
America is not the only nation to recognize Greenland’s strategic significance. Intent on securing a foothold in the Arctic and North America, China attempted in 2016 to purchase an old American naval base in Greenland, a move the Danish government prevented. Two years later, China was back at it, attempting to build three airports on the island, which failed only after intense lobbying of the Danes by the Trump administration.
Beijing understands not only Greenland’s geographic importance but also its economic potential. Greenland is rich in a wide array of mineral deposits, including rare-earth minerals — resources critical to our high-tech and defense industries. China currently dominates the market in these minerals and has threatened to withhold them from us to gain leverage in trade negotiations. Greenland also possesses untold reserves of oil and natural gas.
It just got moved into the “No-Brainer” column, people.
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
President Trump skipped a discussion on climate with other world leaders at the G-7 summit in France. https://t.co/VteHi2kYDc
— NBC News (@NBCNews) August 26, 2019
I am so glad he doesn’t cave to the climate loons who, shockingly, are becoming ever more unstable. I’ll have more on that tomorrow.
I’m right again…
In the event I am killed, organize, mobilize and get the Peace Plan passed and put my body on the NRAs doorstep in Fairfax, VA
— David Hogg (@davidhogg111) August 26, 2019
Yes, I find him to be exceedingly annoying. However, I also think he is a modern media tragedy. After the Parkland shooting, I repeatedly wrote that this kid should have been away from the cameras and getting some trauma counseling. He is still getting enough media attention that he hasn’t completely cracked up but it’s obvious he’s moving in that direction. When he is no longer young enough to be the kind of youthful political human shield the left loves and the media abandons him, he’s going to have a rough time.
From the Mothership and Beyond
CNN: 'Our Ratings Are Only Tanking Because Trump Is Killing Off Viewers By The Millions'https://t.co/ZijJdM53kd
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) August 26, 2019
The Kruiser Kabana
Eddie’s back for the first time in 35 years.
— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) August 26, 2019
I was fascinated by this:
Joyous Tuesday, everyone. Be happy. It irritates all the right people.
Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”