News & Politics

Dating Site Outs Stephen Kruiser as a Bernie Sanders Supporter

(AP Photo/J. David Ake)

One of the enduring hallmarks of this election so far is the way everyone has been able to maintain his or her sense of humor and not take everything too seriously. People have generally been respectful of each other’s opinions, avoiding insults or hyperbole on social media, as well as…

OK, kidding. We all know that humor and satire died faster than Scott Walker’s presidential hopes, as everything about this election went flying past parody and into Drunken Bizarroland.

One thing has happened quite frequently, however. I am constantly being accused of being in the bag for one candidate or another, despite the fact that I haven’t expressed a preference yet. Honestly, I vacillate from day to day about who, I may vote for. Some days there are three Republicans I could support, other days two, many days none. There hasn’t been a day where one has had my full approval. That hasn’t stopped Trump people from screaming that I’m a Jeb or Hillary supporter, Rubio people from yelling that I’m a Cruz guy, and Cruz people whining about my love for Rubio. (There are no Kasich people, that’s just a story told around maple trees in New Hampshire, and even Jeb! isn’t voting for Jeb! at this point.)

We can finally say I’m a shill for Bernie Sanders after this, though:
bernie singles 2
(That’s an actual screen grab, for those of you wondering.)

That’s the Facebook group that inspired a new Sanders singles site, which felt the Bern so quickly it crashed faster than the economy will if he’s elected.

Alas, it was just a screen shot and not a link to the original post, but my dirty secret is out there through guilt by association.

I won’t abandon these kids, I promise. After their dreams have been crushed in November I’m going to give them plenty of the one thing they deserve for free: derision.