Culture

The World Economic Forum Offers You a Taste of the Future That You Have to See to Believe

You all know the “conspiracy theory” about a bunch of elites in Davos trying to reimagine capitalism, calling it the Great Reset, right? The one that conspiracy-ridden rag Time magazine dedicated a full issue to? Where the World Economic Forum used the imminent threat of climate change to alter the way businesses operate and force them to promote the U.N. 2030 sustainability goals through onerous reporting?

Well, your betters are now offering a glimpse of that future and want you to know it’s going to be yummy. Take a look:

You can’t mimic beef. During the recent pandemic supply shortages, United States supermarkets never ran out of Beyond Beef, except maybe in a few select Whole Foods stores. They ran out of pork, chicken, and yes, beef, as people stocked up. But not imitation meat. It just doesn’t measure up.

And while I will give the finished product in this video points for effort, it is still the difference between seeing your favorite rock star live and their likeness at Madame Tussauds. It’s just a little off, and it matters. Additionally, they just showed us how the sausage is made. It is impossible to watch a mass of plant-based protein assembled like so many rows of multi-colored toothpaste and take it seriously.

Of course, the write-up from our intellectual betters at the WEF takes direct aim at the U.S. and tells us our diets are making us overweight. I concur. We take in too many processed foods, refined sugars, and complex carbohydrates, which are processed directly into fat stores if they exceed your activity needs. The problem is, if you never stop eating them, they never get burned, as fat is the first stored energy source your body uses.

We are apparently responsible for increasing obesity in China because they have enough money to eat meat regularly now. At least according to the WEF. It couldn’t possibly be that the Chinese are eating more processed food and living more sedentary lifestyles in the urban areas they cite. I see a simple solution to that. Stop making them wealthier by shipping them our jobs and industries. Problem solved.

You can be assured that no dinner at Davos will serve any of their discerning omnivores a meat substitute. Their time and effort in structuring your life are far too important for them to do without. Like when they fly to meetings in European capitals while you sit on a Zoom call. This reduction in meat consumption will just be imposed on the unwashed masses like every other restriction. And the reason is always the same: climate change, of course:

The UN cites a study undertaken by the University of Michigan, on behalf of the meat-substitute producer Beyond Meat. It suggests that Americans eat, on average, three burgers per week but could “save the amount of greenhouse gas emissions produced by 12 million cars, simply by swapping one of those weekly meals with a plant-based alternative.”

Don’t be fooled. Eating one Beyond Burger does not mean you get to keep your gas-fueled car. The elites just know all that CO2 excreted by cows and our cars is warming up the earth and melting our ice caps. The bad news for the U.N. is that some researchers in Greenland just figured out geothermal heat is at least partially—and could be mostly—responsible for warming the Arctic ice.

Last I checked, cow farts don’t burrow underground.

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