News & Politics

Donald Trump’s Epic Troll of Hunter Biden

Donald Trump’s Epic Troll of Hunter Biden
AP Photo/Rebecca Blackwell

Inflation is skyrocketing, the Afghanistan withdrawal was an appalling disaster, gas prices are through the roof, the southern border is nonexistent, but hey: no mean tweets! Those who are nostalgic for the days when gas was under two dollars a gallon, the border was under control, and we had America-First government in Washington can visit former President Trump’s website, where on Friday he posted a statement hitting the corrupt elites that included a blistering wallop of Hunter Biden and the compromised establishment that prevents Son of Flubber from prison, or even investigation, on a multitude of charges.

Trump began by noting another instance of Washington corruption: “Isn’t it terrible that all of Andrew McCabe’s benefits, pensions, salary, etc., were just fully reinstated by the Justice Department?” Yes, it is indeed. It demonstrates that the Justice Department is as corrupt as McCabe himself, and all-in on the Russian collusion hoax that McCabe did so much to further. The pension alone amounts to $200,000, and this just reinforces the impression that our justice system has been thoroughly corrupted, such that conservative Republicans are prosecuted for the most trivial of offenses, or imagined offenses, while Democrats and establishment Romneyite Republicans commit the most obvious and egregious crimes and skate every time.

Trump noted correctly: “This is yet another mockery to our Country. Among other things, McCabe’s wife received hundreds of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions from Hillary Clinton and the Democrats while Crooked Hillary was under investigation, which was quickly dropped, of course. What a bad chapter this has been for the once storied FBI—I hate to see it happening, so many GREAT people work there.”

And some who are not so great. Trump continued: “Next thing you know the two lovers, Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, will be getting awards for what they did, and Hunter Biden will be given a clean bill of health on everything done by him, with everyone to receive as payment a beautiful Hunter Biden inspired painting selling at your local art gallery for $500,000.”

Then came a glimpse of Trump the master needler, who so charmed many Americans back in 2016 and infuriated others with a burning intensity that still has not died down to this day, with his willingness to talk plainly and his impatience with the hypocritical pieties of establishment Washington politicians: “While I have never painted before, Hunter has inspired me to immediately begin painting because I’ve always felt I have a talent at that, and could surely get at least $2 million dollars per canvas—and probably a lot more. I will begin immediately. Our Country is crooked as hell!”

Oh, if only he had been serious. If only! He may really be on to something here. Imagine what Trump would paint. Maybe his creations would be something on the order of Jeff Epstein’s bizarre paintings of Bill Clinton lounging in a blue dress and George W. Bush knocking down towers of blocks with paper airplanes. Maybe his paintings would be his tweets in visual form. He could turn out to be the most biting satirist and effective political artist since Thomas Nast. It is a shame that the world will not be treated to any Donald Trump originals; they’d likely be actually worth the money that corrupt favor-seekers are paying for Hunter’s coke-addled daubings.

Related: Pulitzer-Winning Art Critic Reveals What Hunter Biden’s Paintings Are Really Worth

Can you picture it? Collectors would line up to bid on Trump’s painting of a big, beautiful border wall. Of gas pumps set to $1.75 a gallon. Of football players standing for the anthem. Of Trump himself, hugging an American flag. Maybe Trump the artist would treat us to a panoramic mural of the Keystone Pipeline. Maybe another painting could show a crowd of AK-toting jihad terrorists getting turned away from a visa application office.

For Trump the artist, the possibilities are truly limitless. He could paint his vision of America made great again by a renewed cultural confidence at home, a thoroughgoing rebuke of Marxist anti-Americanism, and a strong military abroad, undistracted by wokeness and the social engineering fads of the day. He could show us the devastation that comes from the socialist path, and the ways in which free market capitalism benefits all people. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and it’s true: A few well-chosen images could do more than a thousand explanations to convince today’s miseducated multitudes of why a strong, free nation needs secure borders and a free market.

Mr. President, I know you were kidding, and needling the Biden crime family, but please think about it seriously. To see what you’d paint, I’d stand in line.

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