I went home with a waitress the way I always do.
How was I to know she was with the Russians, too?
I was gambling in Havana,
I took a little risk,
Send lawyers, guns, and money,
Dad, get me out of this.
An innocent bystander.
Somehow I got stuck between a rock and a hard place,
And I’m down on my luck.
Yes, I’m down on my luck.
Well, I’m down on my luck.
I’m hiding in Honduras, I’m a desperate man.
Send lawyers, guns, and money,
The sh*t has hit the fan.
– Warren Zevon, “Lawyers, Guns and Money”
I swear, Warren Zevon wrote that song for Hunter Biden, even if he didn’t know it at the time. Which he didn’t. If Hunter has a Secret Service detail, one of his agents should play this on a boom box every time Hunter walks into a room. Come to think of it, the White House should probably replace “Hail to the Chief” with this song for the remainder of the Biden Administration.
The breaks just keep on coming for America’s Fortunate Son. Judge Maryellen Noreika has given the go-ahead nod to a motion by the DOJ to file charges against Hunter Biden in a new district instead of Delaware. The Daily Caller reported:
Federal prosecutors filed a motion last week stating that Hunter Biden’s case will likely “not resolve short of a trial” and seeking to dismiss charges filed in Delaware, given the fact that plea negotiations were “at an impasse.” The prosecutors wrote that the proper venue for the tax charges “lies either in the Central District of California or in the District of Columbia.
Oh, thank God. California or the District of Columbia. Lady Justice, please pick up a white courtesy phone. Your car is being towed. This, of course, will allow Hunter’s case to be heard by a different judge. Not surprisingly, Noreika is a Trump appointee. Tom Cotton had this figured out last week when he tweeted:
🚨Biden's DOJ wants to dismiss the charges against Hunter, *supposedly* to refile them elsewhere, no doubt before some liberal judge who will rubber-stamp a sweetheart deal.
Remember, when Biden's DOJ and Hunter's lawyers meet, they're not negotiating. They're conspiring. pic.twitter.com/TjGEG8QOrJ
— Tom Cotton (@TomCottonAR) August 11, 2023
The Daily Caller noted that Hunter’s original plea deal stated that he would plead guilty to two misdemeanor tax charges and enter a diversion agreement to keep him out of the clink for the gun charge. That deal died on July 26, when Noreika found a section of the agreement that gave Hunter broad immunity against future charges.
According to the Caller, in the August 13 filing, Hunter’s lawyers asserted that the terms of the deal were “largely dictated” by DOJ prosecutors and that the diversion agreement is “valid and binding.” However, in a filing on August 15, Special Counsel David Weiss argued that the diversion agreement was not in effect and that Hunter’s interpretation of it, including that of enjoying “broad immunity,” was “a problem entirely of their own making.”
Well, if at first you don’t succeed, try court-shopping. Which is a snap for Joe Biden’s DOJ.
Donald Trump is being charged with everything from eating endangered species to “mopery and dopery in the spaceways,” while Hunter Biden hopscotches to a friendlier venue. Oh c’mon, man! Were you expecting anything less? This is a government of the Democrats, by the Democrats, and for the Democrats.
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