One of my favorite movies is “Jaws.” In fact, it is the only movie I can quote from memory, and I can even recite the dialogue on the screen in real time. One of the stories about that film is that the massive mechanical shark would not function during filming. Richard Dreyfuss has talked about how radios would crackle all over Martha’s Vineyard with the words, “The shark is not working. Repeat, the shark is not working.”
It’s time for Californians to admit that the donkey is not working. Repeat, the donkey is not working.
Gump’s is a historic luxury department store in San Francisco. It refers to itself as a “Destination for Exceptional Taste.” And that is not an understatement. Picture frames can run as high as $525. A decorative nephrite jade double-ring link sells for $1,500. Lamps start at $275 and top out at $1,890 for a crystal icicle lamp. And then there is the jewelry. Gump’s offers necklaces, rings, earrings, bracelets, brooches, and even hairpins.
Obviously, I cannot afford to shop there, and chances are neither can you. It’s called a luxury department store for a reason. But Gump’s has been a part of San Francisco for almost 166 years, and that may be coming to an end soon. Big deal, you may say. It’s a rich person’s store. That’s true, but if, after 166 years, Gump’s is considering shutting its doors, the city fathers/mothers/whatever they identify need to pay attention. It is a San Francisco landmark, and 166 years is a long time to be in business.
Why is Gump’s likely to call things quits? The same reason other retailers and industries are bailing on San Francisco. It is, as I have referred to it before, the Bidet by the Bay. Well, that’s not quite accurate. The average bidet is probably cleaner than San Francisco. Specifically, the COVID-19 lockdowns cleaned out downtown. Of course, the missing people and businesses were replaced by the homeless and the illicit drug trade, along with garbage and human waste.
The San Francisco Standard reported that the owner of Gump’s, John Chachas, took out a full-page ad in the Sunday edition of the San Francisco Chronicle. The ad took the form of an open letter to San Francisco Mayor London Breed and California Gov. Gavin Newsom. It read in part, “Gump’s has been a San Francisco icon for more than 165 years. Today, as we prepare for our 166th holiday season at 250 Post Street, we fear this may be our last because of the profound erosion of this city’s conditions.”
The letter said the city was under “the tyranny of the minority.” In the letter, Chachas asked Breed and Newsom to clean up the streets, get rid of the encampments, and enforce the law, adding that the city should be returned to “its rightful place as one of America’s shining beacons of urban society.”
You can read the entire letter below:
OPEN LETTER from a San Francisco legacy business. This letter, a full-page newspaper ad published today. It summarizes what majority of residents lament. pic.twitter.com/2WlcSHTrxR
— Richie Greenberg (@greenbergnation) August 13, 2023
Chachas told the Standard that he has received nothing but positive feedback from the ad, stating:
No one’s told me, ‘Oh my, how uncaring you are toward the homeless. I received multiple responses saying “truth to power,” “You’re saying exactly what everybody believes.” It’s just that no one listens.
So everyone knows what the problem is. But London Breed and Gavin Newsom refuse to admit it.
Eventually, Steven Spielberg and his crew managed to solve the problems with the shark, and the radios crackled with, “The shark is working!” And Spielberg went on to create a classic film, one of the first “summer blockbusters.” But San Francisco, and for that matter, California, do not seem interested in fixing the shark so much as jumping it.
San Francisco has been on a crusade to demolish Twitter/X to the point that it even went after the signage. But it has also let conditions deteriorate to the point that a business that has been a fixture in the city for more than 165 years is ready to throw in the towel. It makes one wonder if the problems can be fixed, even if the city wants to do so.
Some people may have accepted San Francisco’s fate, and one group has even found a way to capitalize on it. The Standard also notes that on August 26, SF Anonymous Insider will host a walking tour of the city to showcase the benighted conditions there:
The tour will start at City Hall, and continue through Mid-Market, the Tenderloin, and Union Square,” the webpage for the event says. “We will view the open-air drug markets, the abandoned tech offices, the outposts of the non-profit industrial complex, and the deserted department stores.
The cost is $30. No word if there will be refreshments, and God only knows what will be sold for souvenirs.
San Francisco, if your city’s latest attraction is a tour of the drug markets and failed, empty businesses, the donkey is not working.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member