I have long thought that, like the Holy Grail, Sasquatch, Champ, the Loch Ness Monster, or Mothman, there lurked, half-shrouded in legend, the ultimate Leftist: someone so steeped in his or her own smug self-righteousness, so arrogant, so entitled, so self-assured, and utterly clueless that he or she must have been grown in a Stanford lab.
That person has been found. In San Francisco. Where else did you think you would find her? Put the kids to bed; this is NOT an urban legend. The sightings have been confirmed, and there has been contact with the entity.
The cryptid in question is Stacey Randecker. As the bio on her website indicates, she is quite proud of leaving her rural Pennsylvania roots behind for the tony precincts of New York and San Francisco:
Born and raised in Pennsyltucky, escaped to NYC post-college, and headed west for the turn-of-the-century gold rush. Has been a proud San Francisco resident ever since – despite the fact that we are literally paying for the great weather.
A mom (not a Millennial) she has swapped in politics/public policy, urbanism, and all things mobility as a replacement for her game show contestant worthy pop culture obsession, but technology fascination will never leave her. Dreams about employing a magic wand to make a few life changes, San Francisco modifications, and perhaps world peace while we’re at it. You will see her riding her nifty bike around San Francisco and Silicon Valley, likely wailing the lyrics to the song in play.
Her cause? Mobility, specifically bikes. Apparently, the bike trumps all other forms of transportation, and we may assume that the people who ride them are a more advanced form of homo sapiens, far outstripping the rest of us troglodytes who drive vehicles with internal combustion engines and who must swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid bicyclists who decide to ride the outside line of the bike lane. They are, after all, saving the planet, you degenerate carbon-creator you.
American News Wire reports that the most recent sighting of this particular cryptid occurred when she peddled up to find a vehicle in the bike lane of a city street and tweeted, “I am losing my g*****n mind. Here is an ambulance in the bike lane! What the f*ck! What the f*ck!”
She then proceeded to point out where the vehicle could have parked. She also added, “Get. Out. Of. The. Bike. Lane. — You are killing us!!!”
Oh, did you catch the part about the vehicle being an ambulance? Yes indeed, someone had the nerve to call for emergency medical assistance when you wanted to ride your bike. By all means, find this person at the hospital, give them your best Greta Thunberg glare, and hiss, “How dare you?” Never mind if they are conscious or not; the best prescription is a piece of your mind, Ms. Randecker.
The rant came in the form of a Twitter video, in which Ms. Randecker claimed ambulance crews were taking a break, which prompted this response from the San Francisco Fire Department:
Thank you for sharing this. The crews did not say they “were on a break”, they were finishing a medical emergency with a patient care document from a call at that location which is why they moved to the other side of the street rather than engage with you. Have a safe day. https://t.co/3eI8mYU7Wk
— SAN FRANCISCO FIRE DEPARTMENT MEDIA (@SFFDPIO) December 29, 2022
Randecker held that, since she saw one of the responders on their phone, they could not have possibly been filling out paperwork. But there are all sorts of apps that people use to do their work via their smartphones. As Homer Simpson once said, “Ever heard of a little thing called the internet?”
Apparently, Ms. Randecker has made a bit of a name for herself. One of her fellow San Franciscans commented:
Yes, we all know local toddler and pearl clutcher @drivingmzstacey, here in San Francisco. Here she is in a video asking to be arrested by the @SFPD. My three year old has better sense when it comes to navigating traffic. https://t.co/uKkyzEC1Dn
— Michael Falcone (@CptHungerStrike) December 30, 2022
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: the Leftiest Lib in the West. And to no one’s surprise, she is a white lady in San Francisco.
Wine Recommendations: For those who do not know, (which is everyone) and for those who care (which is probably no one), I have some formal wine training. I have a certificate and everything, which makes me… well it makes me a wine snob. So I thought I might share some of my suggestions with you. Why should the libs have all the good drinks, anyway?
New Year’s Eve is upon us, so stay home to drink so that you don’t injure or kill someone or have to tell your family when visitors’ hours are at the local hoosegow.
If you are planning on a little bubbly to welcome in the New Year, may I suggest foregoing the usual sparkling wines? Everyone will be snatching up the Brut, Asti Spumante, and various versions of “sparkling wine” that are infused with ridiculous flavors and colors, making them more “pink champipple” than actual wine. Save that for a high school prom or a restaurant serving overcooked prime rib at a New Year’s buffet.
If you want to pop the cork at midnight, may I suggest LaMarca Prosecco? Not only is it light, airy, and easy to drink, but it is also reasonably priced. And you will sound more sophisticated saying, “Would you care for some more prosecco?” than, “Hey (hic), anybody want another hit of (hic) of this… this champagne?” Even if you have a lampshade on your head and crab dip on your shirt and the cops are at the door.
Have a Happy New Year, and I’ll see you in 2023.
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