Two hotheads attempted to burn down an immigration services business in Bakersfield, Calif. It didn’t go well.
The two firebugs can be seen in a surveillance video, nonchalantly spewing gasoline across the building and even sloshing it willy-nilly on the ground — where they were standing.
FACT-O-RAMA! I am not a firefighter but I believe pouring gasoline where you are standing — when you plan to ignite the gasoline — is a bad idea.
Stupid Thing 1 is literally standing in a puddle of the flammable liquid when he ignites it. Stupid Thing 2 has encircled himself with petrol as the flames erupt. The cowering inferno (rim shot!) tries to run but slips and falls into the accelerant he has poured on the ground, thus bringing even more heat.
Both jackpuddings hotfoot it out of camera range as their clothing burns.
No one has been arrested. Bakersfield residents are asked to be on the lookout for two suspects described as “average height and extra crispy.”
Related: Climate Protesters Glue Themselves to a Floor. Hilarity Ensues.
First responders put out the flames within 10 minutes of arriving and checked the building for possible victims.
Eyewitness News reports that business owner Max Solorzano is “devastated and doesn’t know how to move on from something like this.”
You can watch the flaming idiots below. Turn up the volume — Stupid Thing 2 lets out a satisfying “AHHHHG!” as he runs away in flames.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member