Your Wednesday Round-Up of 2nd Amendment 'Happy Ending' Stories

AP Photo/Julio Cortez, File

Is it just me or is it always people on the left screaming about mythological “gun violence”? The same left that truly believes Gropey Joe Biden got more votes than any candidate in history wants us unarmed. I wonder why? Tyranny, anyone? An unarmed population is an easy target.

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If you’re reading this you probably know the phrase “gun violence” is lefty code for “criminal violence.” But the left has a history of declaring criminals to be victims and not allowing them to take responsibility for their crimes. It’s not that guy’s fault he shot 14 people at a rap concert — he is a victim.

The truth is, if the left wanted to put an end to crime, they’d stop letting criminals out of jail. They’d repeal no-bail laws that allow bad guys to conduct business with near impunity.

My point is this: the left enables criminals and also wants to take away our ability to defend ourselves. That sounds insane to you and me, but it’s business as usual for the pinko-Americans who call themselves “progressives.”

FACT-O-RAMA! Stalin, Castro, Mao, and Pol Pot took guns away from their people before slaughtering them. Tell THAT to your liberal sister-in-law and her man-bunned boi friend when they try to ruin Easter dinner with their anti-gun commie drivel.

Our 2nd Amendment was written to protect us from home-grown tyranny (which frankly, I am seeing everywhere), but it also evens the playing field when some miscreant decides to break into our home.

I’ve read in the comments of articles like this one that shooting a bad guy isn’t a “happy ending.” As someone who grew up in Detroit in the ’70s and follows crime stats today, I disagree. Anytime someone comes for you or your loved ones and falls ill with lead poisoning is a great day.

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Here are a few “happy ending” stories that wouldn’t be possible without the 2nd Amendment. Enjoy!

March 29, 2022, Akron, Ohio

Police were called around 7:30 a.m. to a residence just outside of downtown Akron to find a 16-year-old burglar with several bullet wounds lying in a house that wasn’t his. It appears the young man had decided to break into the home of a 74-year-old man who promptly retrieved his gun and confronted the criminal.

Cops administered first aid until an ambulance arrived. The burglar will survive and hopefully learned a lesson: don’t mess with the elderly (or anyone, for that matter).

Details are few and police are investigating now, but no charges have been filed against the homeowner.

March 26, 2022, Philadelphia, Pa.

A 36-year-old man strolled into a Dollar General store in the City of Brotherly Violence to rob it but left on a stretcher, weighing several ounces heavier.

The robber had demanded money from a cashier who notified the nearby manager. The manager tried to talk to the thug, who then pulled out a fake gun covered in plastic.

Pro-tip: never bring a fake gun to a real gun fight

FACT-O-RAMA! Using a fake gun is STILL armed robbery in the eyes of the law.

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The creative yet dimwitted outlaw had no idea that the manager had a very real concealed pistol license and a really really real gun, to boot. The manager, not realizing the villain’s gun was fugazi, shot the somewhat-armed robber twice, puncturing two additional holes in the man’s head and causing the outlaw to give up the ghost on the spot. The cashier and manager gave statements to police. No charges have been filed against the manager.

March 17, 2022, Ashland, Pa.

A man was walking his small dog when an unleashed pit bull attacked his pet. The man attempted to separate the dogs but was unable. He then shot and killed the pit bull and whisked his dog to the local veterinarian. Sadly, the small dog had to be put down.

The man walking his dog will not be charged, but the pit bull owner may be in trouble.

I imagine most of us would have done the same thing. I can think of few things worse than watching your dog get killed by a larger dog.

This can be tricky; liberal states may charge the gun owner, depending on the situation. But if I were in that situation, I’d shoot the attacking dog and face a judge.

Related: Biden Can’t Stop ‘Gun Violence’ Until He Stops Calling it ‘Gun Violence’ and Calls it What it Is

Unfortunately, this bozo shot a dog he did not need to shoot and hit himself and another man in the process. The other guy is in serious condition, and the moronic gun owner was arrested for reckless use of a firearm causing serious injury as well as animal abuse. He claims he “didn’t know the gun was loaded.”

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It’s jackpuddings like this who make responsible gun owners look bad. I have no sympathy for him.

Gas prices are rising, inflation is exploding, and as PJ Media’s Athena Horne recently reported, Gropey Joe Biden is about to bring us food shortages. The future is so bright, I need a 5,000 lumen tactical flashlight for my weapon. Today is a great day to buy extra ammo and hopefully get to a range and practice, if you can afford the gas.

I’m kidding — there’s no such thing as “extra ammo.”

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