Clown World: CBS Blames Climate Change for the Rise of the Taliban

In a Babylon Bee-like story, CBS reported that climate change has aided in the resurgence of the Taliban. The only difference is that CBS wasn’t joking.

“Rural Afghanistan has been rocked by climate change. The past three decades have brought floods and drought that have destroyed crops and left people hungry. And the Taliban — likely without knowing climate change was the cause — has taken advantage of that pain,” CBS had the stones to report.

This is the first paragraph of the article. In order to take this sheep dip seriously, one has to believe CBS has a department dedicated to studying decades of weather in rural Afghanistan. I don’t believe Afghanistan has that kind of info, much less CBS. Do you know what CBS does have? Wi-Fi access that allows them to read the Wikipedia article saying the weather is responsible for the Taliban’s rise.

Fact-O-Rama: Though it seems like it, the CBS article was not written by Greta Thunberg.

Fact-O-Rama Jr.: The Taliban took control of Afghanistan because we left before the Afghan army was ready, willing, and able to fight fore their existence.

Fact-O-Rama III: Much like Portland, Seattle, and Austin, Wikipedia has been taken over by pinkos.

Fast Facts and One-Liners

Afghanistan is mostly desert and mountains. I am not a farmer, but I DO know two things:

• Deserts are notoriously bad for planting
• Mountains are notoriously bad for planting

If the Taliban released a report about climate change, and how they profited from it, I would gladly read it. But they won’t do that. In fact, here is a list of things I believe the Taliban would prefer to spend their time on:

• Beating women to death for not cooking for them
• Crushing gay men
• Whipping teen girls
• Pursuing romantic interests

The CBS article goes on to blame climate change for terrorists everywhere:

Climate change has fueled terrorism and civil unrest elsewhere in the world. Boko Haram gripped water-scarce central Africa in 2017 as they gained footholds along the Lake Chad Basin. ISIS has taken advantage of agrarian communities suffering from extreme drought in Iraq and Syria. Farajalla said arid or semi-arid areas in impoverished countries with low levels of education and poor infrastructure are all ripe for extremism.

Look, I understand the left is desperate to push their “climate change” buffoonery at every turn. I also know that the commies are embracing the Taliban, even demanding we pay them reparations, as reported by PJ Media’s own Robert Spencer, despite the Taliban’s habit of eagerly killing women and gay men, two groups the left pretends to support. They want Taliban reparations because it brings them a step closer to getting reparations for black folks. That said, CBS needs to be clown-slapped. Their article is pathetic. It propagates the myth of “climate change” and quasi-excuses the horrific behavior of Islamic terrorists. Remember, as much as the left PRETENDS to support women and gay people, they will NEVER condemn Muslims for their vicious treatment of those groups. To do so would make them “Islamophobic” and detract from the group they truly want to push as evil: straight white men.

I will say this: The “woke” stick to their guns with the dedication of a Jehovah’s Witness. I only wish the GOP had this kind of dedication when it comes to pushing for election audits rather than actively preventing them.