News & Politics

North and South Dakota Should Be Combined into One State

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A petition lobbying President Trump to combine North and South Dakota into one state is picking up steam. Posted on Change.org, the petition asks for a mega-state aptly named MegaKota to be created. At the moment, over 17,000 people have signed the petition. Considering that the two states have a combined population of just north of 1.6 million, the number of signees is nothing to sneeze at. Having considered the petition, I too believe that there is a valid reason to unite the North and South Dakotas into MegaKota.

Like many others, I had to memorize all the states and their capitals in fourth grade. While a huge fan of geography I was not a fan of memorizing lists. The states, I already knew. It was remembering the capitals that proved challenging. I mean, it’s counterintuitive that New York City is not the capital of New York State! And Olympia, Washington? Why isn’t Seattle the capital? Nine-year-old boys have heard of Seattle. Olympia? I’m still not convinced that anyone actually lives there.

While diligently laboring, I struggled with memorizing several state capitals. Toward the top of the list of capitals unwilling to connect themselves to my  brain were Pierre, North Dakota, and Bismarck, South Dakota. Or is it the other way around? Who cares? Or, rather, that’s my point.

Combining the two states into one reduces the number of capitals to memorize. As a bonus, no one will ever mistakenly mix up the capitals of North and South Dakota again. Grades go up. The confidence of students soars. America is made great again.

Dillan Stewart, the creator of the petition, didn’t include my reason. But that’s probably just because he didn’t think about it. His stated reason is much more straightforward, although no less compelling: “i think itd be pretty cool to have a state called MegaKota so yeah [sic’s all around].”

Some of the signees explained their reason for supporting the combining of North and South Dakotas into one state. No doubt, you’ll find their reasons as persuasive as mine. For example, a gentleman named Aaron Hemberger poses the question: “How can [it] be called the United States if some of our states are divided in half?”

Good question, Mr. Hemberger. And after we unite the Dakotas, we need to get to work uniting the Carolinas, Virginias, and those living in the Florida Panhandle with their rightful people living in lower Alabama.

Not to be outdone by Mr. Hemberger, Vinicius Schmidt offers up this reason: “I’m signing this because that’s how the mafia works.”

I don’t know what Mr. Schmidt is talking about, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t convinced me. Because if that is how the mafia works, who am I to impede their labor efficiency?

Undoubtedly, you have compelling, logically air-tight reasons for combining the two Dakotas, too. Share those reasons in the comment section and don’t forget to sign the petition. If we all work together, we can make MegaKota happen.