News & Politics

Alyssa '#DefundThePolice' Milano Calls the Cops

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#DefundThePolice… but not yet!

Remember Alyssa Milano? If not, it doesn’t matter. She used to be a big TV star, and now she’s… well, she’s hanging in there. In recent years she hasn’t been acting as much as she used to, presumably because she spends all her time tweeting about politics. She pitched in on Jon Ossoff’s hilariously inept congressional campaign in 2017, she’s been credited with starting the #MeToo movement (and then she stood by Joe Biden, even after Tara Reade’s accusations), and she’s generally been a good soldier for the Democrats. If they’ve got a message they want to spread, she’s more than eager to help.

For example, all summer the Dems pushed the idea of defunding the police. So did Milano.

But what happens to Alyssa Milano when she needs help? How does she stay safe? Who does she call? The answer may surprise you unless you read the headline to this post.

Jill Ishkanian, Daily Mail:

Actress and ‘Defund the police’ activist Alyssa Milano was quick to call cops when she believed an armed gunman was on her Bell Canyon property on Sunday morning.

The call ignited a response that included seven Ventura County Sheriffs’ vehicles, one K-9 unit, a police helicopter and one Los Angeles Fire Department team that sat down the street on standby…

My goodness. That sounds serious! Milano was obviously in grave danger. So who was the culprit?

‘It turned out it was a neighborhood teen with an air gun shooting at squirrels,’ a resident told the DailyMail.com.

The male teenager witnessed the emergency response and later realized he was the cause and turned himself in.

#SquirrelLivesMatter.

Well, we should all be glad Alyssa Milano is okay. I hope she thanked the officers who rushed to her aid, and expressed her condolences for their inevitable defunding at her hands.

Over the years I’ve developed a theory about people in show business: Their emotional development is frozen at the moment they first achieved fame and fortune. After that point, there was no reason for them to grow and develop as human beings. So they didn’t. There was no need to really think about anything. So if they didn’t know how to think already, they never learned.

Alyssa Milano has been famous since she was 11 years old.

Update: Milano responds. It’s… really something.

My friend Randy notices something about her rhetoric, too:

Alyssa Milano: ‘Believe Women,’ But Joe Biden Deserves ‘Due Process’
Alyssa Milano Protests Kavanaugh Because … Handmaid’s Tale. Duh.