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Biden Wants You to Believe Women, Unless They're Named Tara Reade

Democratic presidential candidate former Vice President Joe Biden speaks about the coronavirus Thursday, March 12, 2020, in Wilmington, Del. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

Have you ever seen an elderly man try to walk a tightrope? It doesn’t tend to go well. Karl Wallenda learned that in the spring of 1978, back when Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. was a vigorous 35-year-old. But if good ol’ Joe learned any sort of lesson from Wallenda’s terrifying death while attempting the type of extraordinary feat he should’ve given up years before, Joe has forgotten it by now. Otherwise, this old man wouldn’t have attempted the similarly disastrous high-wire act you’re about to witness.

Joe appeared on Good Morning America today, and since his interviewer was Democratic Party fixer and unbiased journalist George “You Must Be This Tall to Ride” Stephanopoulos, I assumed the topic of Tara Reade wouldn’t come up. But to George’s credit, he did bring up her accusation of sexual assault against Biden. He saved it for last, and he didn’t follow up on the disjointed babbling you’re about to hear, but at least he did bring it up:

George Stephanopoulos: On these allegations from Tara Reade: I know you deny them, but you’ve also said that women should be believed. So what do you say to Americans who believe Tara Reade and won’t vote for you because of it?
Joe Biden: Well, that’s their right. Look, here, look. I think women should be believed. They should have an opportunity to have their case and state it… just forthrightly, what their case is. Then it’s the responsibility of responsible journalists like you and everyone else to go out and investigate those. The end of the day, the truth is the truth. That’s what should prevail. And the truth is, this never happened. This never happened. I assure you. That’s the truth.

Remind you of anything?

I know Stephanopoulos remembers that one. This is the sequel. Or perhaps, given Joe’s advanced years and the nature of the appendage in question, it’s what Hollywood calls a “soft reboot.”

My hat is off to the first video editor to do a supercut of Clinton’s “I did not. Have. Sexual. Relations with that woman” and Biden’s “This. Never. Happened.” At least Joe didn’t pound the table for emphasis.

So that’s the tightrope Joe is trying to walk. Yes, #BelieveWomen, like he told you to do 18 months ago:

(Washington Post screenhot)

But also, Joe says #DoNotBelieveThisParticularWoman. He’s not saying Tara Reade is a liar… he’s just saying that her statement is false and she knows it. You should believe her, and also you should not believe her. There’s no contradiction, because… um… well, do you want Trump to win?

That’s a precarious tightrope, Joe, and it’s a long way down.

If you’re wondering why Biden’s advisers are allowing him to bumble around like this, there’s a good reason:

As you just saw, Biden could really use some help right now. But who needs paid advisers when he’s got 95% of the media in his pocket? They’re ready, willing, and able to make as many excuses as he needs:

Neat trick, huh? In 2018 I was supposed to believe Brett Kavanaugh’s accusers, because they’re women. I was supposed to ignore the lack of evidence and the holes in their stories, because they’re women. Any questions or criticisms I had were just further evidence that I hate women.

But now it’s a Democrat in the barrel, so the rules have changed. Now journalists and other Dems are making all the same arguments their opponents made during the Kavanaugh show-trial. Arguments that the Dems dismissed as sexist and misogynist at the time. And women like Monica Hesse enable this brazen hypocrisy, because they care more about political power than about the lives of individual human beings.

(And now, the above paragraph will be cited as evidence of my misogyny. I was a misogynist 18 months ago because I didn’t believe a woman with an unbelievable story. I’m a misogynist now because I believe a woman with a believable story and I dare to call out the hypocrites who don’t. Presto!)

The next time Joe has an interview scheduled, he should just claim technical difficulties: “I pushed the button on the camera thingie, but I just couldn’t figure out how to turn on the dag-blasted contraption!” That’s a lot more plausible than this malarkey.

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