News & Politics

Valerie Plame Drives a Fast Car, So New Mexico Should Elect Her to Congress

It’s been years since I thought about former spy(?) and anti-Bush icon Valerie Plame, and I was okay with that. She’s never really impressed me very much. Most recently, she got in trouble for tweeting some anti-Semitic stuff and then lying about it. She also came up with a great idea for stopping Trump from tweeting: Buy Twitter and kick him off. (She managed to raise about $90K of her $1B goal.) Before that, of course, there was the “Plame affair” or “Plamegate” or “Whatever that mess with Valerie Plame was.” The only thing I really remember about it is that they made a movie of her version of events, and it was a bigger bomb than anything George W. Bush ever dropped.

Now she’s running for Congress in New Mexico, and her first campaign ad is really something. It looks and sounds like something out of a mid-’90s syndicated action show:

“I was an undercover CIA operative. My assignment was preventing rogue states and terrorists from getting nuclear weapons. You name a hot spot, I lived it. Then, Dick Cheney’s chief of staff took revenge against my husband and leaked my identity. His name: Scooter Libby. Guess who pardoned him last year? [Picture of #BadOrangeMan] I come from Ukrainian Jewish immigrants. Dad was in the Air Force. My brother almost died in Vietnam. My service was cut short when my own government betrayed me. We left Washington to raise our kids in New Mexico, one of the best places on earth. Now I’m running for Congress because we’re going backwards on national security, health care, and women’s rights. We need to turn our country around. And yes, the CIA really does teach us how to drive like this. You’ve probably heard my name. And Mr. President, I’ve got a few scores to settle.”

Hmm. Fancy driving and rousing soundtrack aside, I’m not really convinced by this ad. As Jim Geraghty at NRO reminds us, her assertion about Scooter Libby is a lie. He didn’t leak her identity, Richard Armitage did.

A few other nitpicky details:

Well, whatever. It’s politics. Since when has the truth mattered? It’s not about what did or didn’t happen in real life. It’s about awesome stunt driving and strutting toward the camera in slow motion while somebody plays generic blues-rock. It’s about declaring yourself a victim of those evil Republicans. It’s about telling people what they want to hear about their hated enemies.

“Get your revenge: Vote for me!”

It’s pure nonsense, and I assume she’ll win.

Congratulations in advance, Valerie. Beats getting a real job, right?