Al Sharpton Swoops in to Save Baltimore from Trump

This weekend, the citizens of Baltimore got the worst news possible: President Trump had tweeted something unflattering about their fair city.

Rep, Elijah Cummings has been a brutal bully, shouting and screaming at the great men & women of Border Patrol about conditions at the Southern Border, when actually his Baltimore district is FAR WORSE and more dangerous. His district is considered the Worst in the USA……

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 27, 2019

….As proven last week during a Congressional tour, the Border is clean, efficient & well run, just very crowded. Cumming District is a disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess. If he spent more time in Baltimore, maybe he could help clean up this very dangerous & filthy place

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 27, 2019

Why is so much money sent to the Elijah Cummings district when it is considered the worst run and most dangerous anywhere in the United States. No human being would want to live there. Where is all this money going? How much is stolen? Investigate this corrupt mess immediately!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 27, 2019

Fortunately, the Democrats know what to do. When Trump says something, that means the opposite is true. No matter what the opposite might be. So now Baltimore is good, and the city doesn’t have the problems Trump claims it has. Somebody made an entire documentary about the rat problem in Baltimore, but now it doesn’t matter because that would mean Trump is right about something.

And because Elijah Cummings is black, and Baltimore is majority black, this is good news for grifters who make their living by accusing people of racism.

That’s your cue, Rev. Al!

Arrived in DC from Atlanta, headed to Baltimore. Long day but can’t stop. pic.twitter.com/fzBsrqfgmY

— Reverend Al Sharpton (@TheRevAl) July 29, 2019

What would Baltimore do without Rev. Al running to the nearest TV camera?

And of course, now we have this too:

I have known Al for 25 years. Went to fights with him & Don King, always got along well. He “loved Trump!” He would ask me for favors often. Al is a con man, a troublemaker, always looking for a score. Just doing his thing. Must have intimidated Comcast/NBC. Hates Whites & Cops! https://t.co/ZwPZa0FWfN

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 29, 2019

Is any of that true? It doesn’t matter, because Trump is the one saying it. That’s how it works. That’s what it means to be a Democrat in 2019. Baltimore’s problems, or anybody else’s problems, are less important than using every possible opportunity to #own the other side.

And journalism means publishing headlines like this:

Trump and Sharpton are more alike than they are different, and this benefits both of them. They both get cheers from their die-hard fans, and jeers from the people they’re trolling in the first place. It’s a win/win for both of them. So now everybody gets to yell at each other — which is the point of everything we do in 2019 — and these two old con artists continue to profit from it.

Must be Monday.