News & Politics

Kevin Hart Was Taken Down By White Folks, But It's Not Racist Because They're Liberals

Kevin Hart arrives at the MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall on Monday, Aug. 20, 2018, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)

In my opinion, Kevin Hart is obnoxious and unfunny. I’ve had this opinion since the first time I saw him on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn 15 years ago, and he’s done nothing since then to change my mind.* I don’t begrudge the guy his massive success, but I find it utterly baffling. Up until today, this opinion was enough to brand me a racist. But now it turns out I was just ahead of the curve.

That’s because Kevin Hart just made the biggest mistake you can make in 2018 America. He offended somebody who’s above him in the hierarchy of victimhood.

The story ended in the same place it began: Twitter.

Wait, what? They only hired him to host the Oscars on, like, Tuesday. What the hell happened?

This happened:

Etc., etc. It’s never been easier to whip up an outrage mob, and they’ve never needed less of a reason.

In case you missed it, a bunch of white people just ganged up on a black guy and got him fired. But it’s okay, they’re not racists, because they’re the good guys and they have good reasons. What they’re doing isn’t whitesplaining, they don’t need to check their privilege and stay in their lane, because their target offended somebody they want to protect.

I can’t figure out whether identity politics makes people stupid, or stupid people are just drawn to identity politics. Probably a bit of both.

Hart says he’s a different person than he was when he said all that stuff, and he claims he already apologized for it years ago. Whether that’s true or not, it doesn’t matter. Once an angry mob starts screaming for your blood, no amount of groveling will appease them. They can’t send you to the guillotine anymore — probably? — so they’ll settle for cutting off your paycheck.

If Kevin Hart wanted to keep his Oscars-hosting gig, he should’ve explained he was only mocking gay people who are also Republicans. All would be forgiven.

At this point, no host could possibly salvage the Academy Awards. Kevin Hart certainly wouldn’t have. His only accomplishment would’ve been making everybody actually miss Jimmy Kimmel. And it’s not like Hart is hurting for work. He’s a multimillionaire movie star who fills up stadiums on his stand-up tours. I think he’ll be okay.

But the only thing I hate more than Kevin Hart’s comedy is liberal double standards. And he just got clobbered by ’em.

Goodbye, #OscarsSoWhite. We didn’t know how good we had it until it was gone.

*Well, okay, Hart was pretty good in Jumanji. Or at least he didn’t irritate me as much as usual. He actually made Jack Black seem subdued by comparison, but I found him more bearable as part of an ensemble. The movie wasn’t just Kevin Hart yelling and jumping around and yelling some more for 90 minutes.