News & Politics

Oprah Talks to God, But It's Okay Because She's Not Mike Pence

A few weeks ago, Vice President Mike Pence was criticized for engaging in a custom that’s frowned upon by our moral, ethical, and intellectual betters in the media. He was mocked for his belief in a very controversial and outdated practice: prayer.

From the meeting place of America’s finest minds known as The View, here’s noted theologian Joy Behar analyzing Mike Pence’s religious beliefs and practices:

“It’s one thing ta tawwwk ta Jesus. It’s anothah thing when Jesus tawwwks ta you. That’s cawwwled ‘mental illness,’ if I’m nawwwt correct. Hearing voices.” [APPLAUSE SIGN]

Got that, all you Christians and Muslims and Jews and Bahá’í and the rest? You really think God talks to you? You really think all your prayers mean anything? You’re crazy.

Pence was suitably humiliated for practicing his religion in the United States of America. But it sounds like the next POTUS didn’t get the memo. Mary Green and Ale Russian, People:

There’s only one thing that could make Oprah Winfrey run for president in 2020.

Amid calls for her to consider a run for the White House — from fans as well as her closest friends — “I went into prayer,” she tells PEOPLE in the magazine’s new cover story. “‘God, if you think I’m supposed to run, you gotta tell me, and it has to be so clear that not even I can miss it.’ And I haven’t gotten that.”

How about that. Sounds like she thinks God talks to her, and he hasn’t told her what to do yet.

And now, here’s a clip of Joy Behar mocking Oprah Winfrey for imagining that God talks to her:

Nobody’s going to go after Oprah for being religious and having a personal relationship with God. Not because they respect her faith, necessarily, but because she’s a powerful media figure. You’d better not mess with her or she can hurt you. If you want to build and keep a career in media, anyway.

Also, it’s racist because she’s black. And it’s sexist because she’s a woman. And it’s a partisan political attack because she’s a Democrat.

Three strikes, Mike Pence!

I know, I know: Joy Behar is just a comedian. Why am I criticizing her? Can’t I take a joke?

Well, two things. 1) No, I can’t, and 2) That’s the sort of dishonest “Clown Nose Off, Clown Nose On” tactic that’s been perfected for the past couple of decades by Behar, and Jon Stewart, and other lefty comics.

Here’s how it goes: We’re supposed to pay attention to what these people say because of their prominence. They’re very important people, and they have very important opinions. But then, when we engage them on an argument they’re making and point out the flaws in it, they retreat. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m just a comedian!

That’s Jimmy Kimmel’s newest bit: reading the cue cards written for him by Chuck Schumer, and then telling everybody to leave him alone because he doesn’t matter. Even Jimmy Fallon is starting to get into the act, because that’s how you get ratings in 2018. They don’t care that it’s dishonest. It gets them accolades from the people they want to impress, and nothing else matters to them.

What if Oprah does hear from God eventually? What if she runs in, say, 2024? Assuming the Democrats keep going the way they’ve been going, she’ll be running against Pence. It’ll be devout Christian vs. devout Christian. I don’t know how Dems will resolve the cognitive dissonance, but it’ll be fun to watch them try.

You don’t have to share Mike Pence’s religious beliefs, or anybody else’s. But using his religion as a political attack is really low. What the h-e-double-toothpicks is wrong with you?

Pence will forgive you, because he’s better than you are.

But I’m not.