News & Politics

Will These Excuses Work for Snowflakes Who Skip Work on 'Day Without a Woman'?

Women's March, Washington, DC, U.S., January 21, 2017. REUTERS/Canice Leung

On Wednesday, anti-Trump women from across the nation plan to show their resistance to “the Orange Menace” by participating in what organizers call the “Day Without a Woman” strike. Of course, the strike isn’t for all women — it’s for an elite cohort of left-leaning special snowflakes.

As Kira Davis at Red State noted, it seems to be “organized by women who have absolutely no understanding of what it is like to live hand-to-mouth every single day.”

Even more ridiculous, #DayWithoutWomen wants you to avoid shopping…except at businesses and establishments owned by women and minorities. But aren’t those women supposed to be taking the day off? Who is supposed to be working and who is supposed to be striking? And what if those minority business owners supported Trump? Are we allowed to shop there then?

The last such effort (“A Day Without Immigrants” strike) resulted in pink slips for more than a few of the unlucky activists who took part in that protest. Heather Dockray, a bespectacled millennial who writes for Mashable, came up with a list of thirteen cutesy girlish excuses for grown women to use on their bosses so maybe the same thing doesn’t happen to them.

“Women-identified people” will be “protesting on behalf of all the marginalized groups currently threatened by the Trump administration,” Dockray proclaimed (without elaborating on how women have actually been threatened and marginalized by the Trump administration).

She also didn’t explain how taking a paid or unpaid vacation for one day makes women any less marginalized or threatened by The Donald, but she did say it offered them a “unique opportunity” to “disrupt the flow of capitalism” and send “a powerful message of dissent.”

What’s more, “it’ll also allow strikers to send delightfully righteous messages to their coworkers that they’ll have no choice but to accept.”

Indeed, Dockray was so impressed with her list of excuses, she recommended that the women-identified workers should send the excuses to  “everyone on staff” so they’ll know “just how historic this moment is and/or just how clever you are.”

Prepare to be dazzled, PJ Media readers!

1. I’ll be out of the office all day Wednesday in solidarity with women worldwide. You should take a screenshot of this email as it’s now a piece of history. Thanks!

2. I will be out of office all day Wednesday fighting for social justice. I’ll be returning to the office to fight for the same thing but harder on Thursday, March 9.

3. I will be out of the office all day Wednesday striking on behalf of women everywhere, because come on now why do you even need a because.

This next one seems kind of desperate…

4. Please forgive any delays in my response time. I’m out of office today at the Women’s Strike and will have access to email but have pledged not to check it until I return. Of course, I will very likely check my email because this whole strike thing makes me very nervous but I will maybe not respond to your email until Thursday morning, assuming I don’t I freak out first. Thanks! Don’t email any more!

I think that’s SJW for “please don’t fire me!”

5. I will be out of the office on Wednesday, March 8 to participate in the Women’s Strike. If you need immediate assistance, find your nearest benign man and ask him to do it instead.

This one is for self-identified women who were planning on quitting anyway, I think…

6. I will be out of office beginning Wednesday March 8 for the Women’s Strike and will do my best not to return.
Please don’t do these next two if you’re in customer service…

7. Thank you for your email. Your email is important to me but not nearly as important as striking for women, which is what I’ll be doing today.

8. I will be striking on Wednesday March 8 on behalf of women. If you need to know why I can’t help you so please email someone else.

Click here for the rest. They’re all just as precious — including the adorable girl-power gifs. Squeeee!

It’s all so righteous, so empowering, so pro-(self-identifying) woman! — until the very end where Dockray inexplicably includes a video of Kellyanne Conway performing at a D.C. comedy show, apparently to mock her.

“BONUS: Here’s a clip of Kellyanne Conway’s previous (and mercifully brief) career in stand-up comedy,” the purportedly pro-woman author sneers.

Huh!