The Vlady-Bibi Tapes

I dunno, maybe they should be called vladybibileaks, in keeping with current nomenclature, but whatever you call them, I've obtained a recording of (parts of) the conversation between Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Russian President Vladimir Putin.  They met in Jerusalem on Monday,  and the tapes arrived here late Tuesday night by courier.

PJ Media spares no expense, you know.

The recording is pretty good, but it seems the machinery stopped a few times, so the text is a bit disjointed.  Nonetheless I think it provides a useful insight into the real world, as opposed to the stuff we read about so often in the popular press.  The early part is just pleasant chit-chat, as Putin expresses satisfaction at being in Israel, nominally for a celebration of Red Army victories over Hitler's army in the Second World War.  Whereupon they segue into the main topics of the day:

BIBI:  "We commemorate Nazi defeats here, you know."

VLADY:  "Yes, but even so it's rare for me to be invited to an event honoring the Soviet military.  Once upon a time, rulers in the Kremlin spent a lot of time flying around the satellite countries for such parties, but now nobody in those places honors our sacrifices."

BIBI:  "Don't get me started on ingratitude.  We Jews know all about that one!"

VLADY:  "Hah!  Well you are designated scapegoats, after all.  And it's time for you to play your designated role once again."

BIBI:  "It's always time, and we don't have to do anything;  they do it to us."

VLADY:  "Of course.  But now you should do something to show them it's a mistake to trifle with Jews."

BIBI:  "You talking about Iran or Syria now?"

VLADY:  "Iran, of course.  You must leave Syria to us, as I told Mr. Obama."

[missing section]

BIBI:  "Let me make sure I understand you correctly.  Are you saying you think we should go after your friends in Tehran?"

VLADY:  "Some friends!  You can't imagine the problems with them.  After all I've done, we still can't get our invoices paid in a reasonable amount of time."

BIBI:  "Well maybe you shouldn't have built that nuclear reactor, or arranged for them to get your antiaircraft missiles."

VLADY:  "I didn't sell them antiaircraft missiles."

BIBI:  "You sold the missiles to Chavez in Venezuela, and he sent them to Iran, as you well know.  That was the deal, wasn't it?"

VLADY:  "We gave you the jamming instructions for them, didn't we? And the reactor still doesn't work."

BIBI:  "So why should we do anything about it?"

VLADY:  "Because it's too dangerous to take chances with them.  They're crazy, but they're smart, too, and eventually they will figure it out.  We can't have those crazy people with atomic bombs.  And you're the first target, so what are you waiting for?"

BIBI:  "You know what?  That's precisely what the Saudis say.  Word for word.  'What are you waiting for?'  Interesting that the atheists and the Wahabbis say the same thing, don't you think?"

VLADY:  "It's not a religious question,  you know."

BIBI:  "Really?  Have you tested that theory on Supreme Leader Khamenei?"

VLADY:  "No.  His predecessor tried to convince one of my predecessors to convert to Islam, haha."