Faster, Please!

My (PR) Agents in Tehran

I am once again grateful to the leaders of the Iranian regime for their continuing efforts to portray me as a powerful man at the very center of American foreign policy.  Their latest effort—which consists of a poorly fabricated video and several spinoffs in official publications—have me one of the key organizers of a phantomatical Iranian government-in-exile.  I am said to have worked intimately with Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton, putting them in touch with a character named Madhi (not to be confused with “the mahdi,” aka the 12th Imam, the Iranian Shi’ite messiah with whom President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims to have a close working relationship).  I and my cohorts at the Foundation for the Defense of Democracies, having received billions of dollars from the dark forces of the FBI, CIA and State, allegedly arranged for Madhi to hobnob with the Veep and the Secretary of State to further our diabolical scheme.

No serious person with even a passing knowledge of the Obama Administration would take any of it seriously (although, if you’ll hold that thought for a moment, you’ll see that one major “newspaper” with claims to legitimacy published the fantasy in considerable detail).  I’ve never met Hillary or Joe, never met Madhi or communicated with him in any way, and have never set foot in the city of Bangkok, where, according to the Tehran disinformers, I supposedly met with him.  The powers-that-be in the Obama White House and State Department don’t have time for the likes of me, which is easily understandable.

Moreover, I am famously opposed to trying to organize the Iranian diaspora against the Tehran regime.  The people who will eventually do that don’t live here or in Europe;  the Iranians who will topple Khamenei and Ahmadinejad are over there, in Iran.  Those are the people we should be supporting, and I have been saying that for many years.

My PR agents carrying out the wishes of Messrs Khamenei and Ahmadinejad don’t seem to understand these little details.  For them, an American is an American, and we’re all agents of the Great Satan.  For extras, they don’t believe for a minute that the millions of Iranians who have marched in the streets and chanted “death to the dictator” are doing it on their own, simply because they hate the tyrants that have wrecked their country.  The Iranian leaders think it’s all a dark plot.  They accordingly manufacture the “evidence” of it.

As I said, I’m grateful for their efforts to pump up my profile;  with a bit of luck I might get some speaking dates out of it.  And the British “newspaper,” the Guardian, has jumped on the bandwagon, publishing a “news story” about the Iranian video that doesn’t challenge any of its claims.  What’s so funny about this is that the Guardian was itself gulled by Mr. Madhi a while back (which they admit), but they couldn’t be bothered to check any of the recent Iranian nonsense.

I guess they thought it was too good to check.  Not that you need any such advice, but I’d be careful before believing anything in the Guardian.  They may have ghost writers in Tehran.

ALSO READ: Iranian Official: “We Will Use Our Missiles To Protect Other Muslim States.”