Meghan Markle somehow managed to land a reported $20 million dollar deal with Spotify in 2020 to produce podcasts for the network. After only one season and twelve episodes of the podcast hilariously named Archetypes when it should have been called Stereotypes, Spotify has pulled the plug. Archetypes claimed to—and this is a real quote—”investigate, dissect, and subvert the labels that try to hold women back.” Ignoring for a moment that “labels” are not sentient beings with any power to do anything, the show went on to talk about the word “bimbo,” which no one has used in about 30 years to describe women. Other episodes focused on words like “bossy, bit*h, and difficult,” alleging these are code words for misogyny. It was truly snooze-inducing recycled 1990s feminist tropes everyone has heard a million times.
Not only were the topics boring, but Duchess Difficult used every interview as an opportunity to turn the conversation back to herself and how labels impacted her. Harry’s wife loves the sound of her own voice and believes she’s the most interesting person in the room. She’s convinced that everyone wants to hear tales of her extraordinary childhood (which isn’t extraordinary at all) and that one time she made a soap company say that “people are fighting grease” instead of “women.” If they had released it as a comedy, it could have been a hit.
Spotify executive and podcaster Bill Simmons opened both barrels on the Sussexes, calling the pair “f***ing grifters” and questioning Prince Harry’s marketability to the podcasting audience.
“The f***cking grifters. That’s the podcast we shoulda launched with them,” said Simmons. “I gotta get drunk one night and tell the story of the Zoom I had with Harry to try and help him with a podcast idea. It’s one of my best stories,” he threatened. We would all love to hear that story. He continued blasting Harry about his never-ending list of complaints.
Shoot this guy to the sun. I’m so tired of this guy. What does he bring to the table? He just whines about sh*t and keeps giving interviews. Who gives a sh*t? Who cares about your life? You weren’t even the favorite son.”
I can’t stand him. So tired. I’m so embarrassed I f***cking have to share Spotify with him. The guy sucks.
The New York Post reported that the couple’s troubles with Spotify included a poor work output which tracks with their reported one-hour-a-week work schedule for their charity Archewell.
A source close to the situation told The Post on Thursday that the Archewell media company launched by Prince Harry, 38, and Markle, 41, didn’t produce enough content to receive the full payout of the roughly $20 million deal the couple signed in 2020.
The couple who can’t shut up about all the wrongs done to them by others has been silent on the Spotify blow. The Duchess of Distress did manage to get paparazzi to take photographs of her looking very upset, walking around a parking lot sporting a $5000 bag while speaking intensely on her cell phone. She apparently doesn’t have a home office to take these calls in her 16-bedroom Montecito mansion. For a woman who values her privacy so much, it’s a head-scratching display. It should be noted that the photographs were taken by the paparazzi company Backgrid, which seems to have an inside scoop on where the Duchess of Demands is at every given moment.
Meghan Markle appears downcast in first sighting since Spotify split https://t.co/q7fXYsNF7Q pic.twitter.com/d14e3foaTm
— New York Post (@nypost) June 19, 2023
Shortly after this news broke, articles claimed that Meghan might be the next Duchess of Dior, joining the brand as an “influencer.” It’s a bizarre story arc, an influencer turned princess turned influencer. The Duchess of Attention-Seeking tried to convince the world her brand was “feminist” but ended up trying to sell dresses most women can’t afford, which is a strange outcome. Hear Bill Simmon’s go nuts on the ex-royal duo below.
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