The CDC Wants to Ruin Your Holidays (Again)

Update: After this article was published, the CDC removed the holiday recommendations from its website.

The CDC has updated its safety guidelines for the upcoming holiday season and the agency wants you to party like it’s 2020, which is to say they don’t really want you to party at all, unless, that is, you do it virtually.

“Attending gatherings to celebrate events and holidays increases your risk of getting and spreading COVID-19,” the CDC warns. “The safest way to celebrate is virtually, with people who live with you, or outside and at least 6 feet apart from others.”

Can you just feel all the holiday cheer?

The CDC even made a list of ways you can celebrate the holidays safely. Did you know that the CDC is A-OK with you decorating your home with holiday-themed decorations? That’s right! Go nuts! The CDC does not object.

Obama can have a giant birthday bash.
Hollywood can host the Emmy Awards.
The Met can hold their ritzy gala.

But, @CDCgov wants you to have a virtual holiday party. pic.twitter.com/2knCm12hn0

— Matt Margolis (@mattmargolis) October 4, 2021

If you dare to hold a celebration with people you don’t live with, however, the CDC wants you vaccinated and masked. Maybe personal bubbles are coming, too, but thankfully, not yet. But if you do celebrate indoors, the CDC suggests you “bring in fresh air by opening windows and doors, if possible.” Use a window fan to blow air out of one window if you can, because doing so will “pull fresh air in through the other open windows.”

These recommendations wouldn’t seem so insulting if we hadn’t spent the summer watching Barack Obama hold a huge, maskless birthday bash without any social distancing, or watching Hollywood and other celebrities gather for the Emmy Awards or the Met Gala maskless and without social distancing either. Nope. Those people are above the rules the rest of us have to follow.