What the Heck Is a 'Demisexual'? We're Not Sure, But There's One in Andrew Cuomo's Family

(AP Photo/Chiang Ying-ying)

Last month, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s youngest daughter, 23-year-old Michaela Kennedy-Cuomo, came out as “queer” on Instagram. But I guess that didn’t give her enough attention, so this week she had to one-up herself and declare that in addition to being “queer,” she’s also a “demisexual.”

What is a demisexual, you ask? Does Demi Moore have a sexual orientation specifically for people who are attracted to her? I suppose that would be flattering, but alas, that is not what a demisexual is.

“Demisexual people only feel sexually attracted to someone when they have an emotional bond,” explains WebMD. “They can be gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual, and may have any gender identity.”

Oh, but wait, the website commonly-used-to-self-diagnose-health-issues-rather-than-go-to-a-doctor has more! “Demisexuality is the only name for the need to have a connection with someone before feeling attraction. However, some people might use terms for other modes of graysexuality to refer to demisexuality.”

These other names include:

  • Gray-A
  • Hyposexual
  • Semisexual
  • Low sexual intensity
  • Asexual-ish
  • Sexual-ish

I’m glad they cleared that up. Otherwise, it might be too confusing-ish.

Oh, but our journey into demisexuality isn’t over yet. “Demiromanticism is related to but different from demisexuality. Demiromantic people need to have an emotional connection with someone before they feel romantic towards them.”

Oh, gotcha. And I thought they were just attention-seekers.

The article insists that demisexuality “is not related to a moral or religious belief about sex.” So, if you’re religious and believe sex outside of marriage is immoral, you don’t belong in the prestigious Demisexual Club because demisexuality “is a sexual orientation, not a choice.”

Ironically, according to Michaela Kennedy-Cuomo, when she first came out as “queer,” she was worried that she’d be perceived as “attention-seeking,” since it’s “hip or cool to not be hetero in my liberal bubble.”

The more you read about demisexuality, the more absurd it gets. “A common misconception is that demisexual people need to be in love with someone to feel sexual attraction,” explains WebMD. “Demisexuality requires a connection, but for many people, that can be a close friendship or another type of non-romantic relationship.”

So, like, demisexuality can include friends with benefits, or having some romantic interest or even deep romantic feelings… basically anything besides anonymous sex?

“Demisexual people simply do not feel sexual attraction to new people,” but that doesn’t mean they are prudish or afraid of sex.

The more research I do on this so-called “sexual orientation,” the more confused I get, because according to WebMD, “If you choose to have sex only with people you’ve known for a long time or have a close connection with, you’re not necessarily demisexual. Demisexuality is not a casual preference — it drives the attraction that comes before sexual encounters.”

Okay, sure. Whatever you say.

Related: You’re LGBT? No One Cares Except the Left

Is this really what’s become of the LGBTetc movement—everything is so fluid and on a spectrum that essentially everything has its own classification, its own box to fill? Does this make these people feel special in a way that simply being gay doesn’t offer to them? It’s amusing that Kennedy-Cuomo acknowledged that it’s “hip or cool to not be hetero” in her “liberal bubble.” Why this need to come out as demisexual, a nonsensical and even contradictory set of preferences that is deemed a “sexual orientation” by the LGBT movement? It literally takes multiple paragraphs for WebMD to try to explain demisexuality when it could have saved everyone a bunch of time by saying it’s just a bunch of poppycock.


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