Christians are, by no means, perfect people. As much as we hate to admit it, we can be just as snarky and insulting as anyone else. We even have vanilla substitutes for cursing. For those of you who live in Mormon country, I am not talking about "flip," "fetch," "Oh my heck," or "Cheese and rice!" For those of you who don't live in Mormon country, those are words and phrases that are used as stand-ins for utterances that might cause your bishop to drop-kick you into the ward parking lot. (That raises another question I've always wondered about: are the BYU Cougars ever allowed to do a Hail Mary pass?)
Other Christians can substitute objectionable words and phrases for something less ostensibly shocking, although they aren't nearly as creative about it. The number one phrase for telling people to shove it without actually directing them to a particular orfice is to say "I'll pray for you." That translates into, "You're a complete and total idiot and wrong about everything." "Bless your/his/her heart" is more a Southern thing than exclusively Christian. That is a polite way of indicating that someone is a jerk or possibly so dense that they are their own event horizon. I'm sure our resident Southern editor, Chris Queen, has uttered that phrase about yours truly on more than one occasion.
There may be occasions when the phrase "Have a blessed day" is meant as a veiled imprecation, but in polite conversation, particularly involving routine encounters among strangers or customers, it means exactly what it sounds like it means.
Unless one is a left-wing journalist, who could get triggered by the sight of the snow-cone machine (all that Tiger's Blood, you know). Then, "Have a blessed day" is tantamount to "Watch your back; we're coming for you in the middle of the night."
That, apparently, was the case the other night. According to American Wire, Mother Jones Editor-in-Chief Clara Jeffery was affronted and possibly terrified (and likely triggered) when a flight attendant had the temerity to wish her a "blessed night." She posted on X:
Creeping Christian nationalism alert: @AlaskaAir flight attendant just wished us a “blessed” night as we landed in SFO (!) to groans. Other adjectives that would have sufficed: great, awesome, fabulous, amazing, fantastic…
As my rowmate said, “this ain’t Montgomery, sweetie.”
— Clara Jeffery (@ClaraJeffery) September 28, 2024
Christian nationalism! Is there anything it can't do? Seriously, for anyone to take "Have a blessed night" as a subtle attempt at Christian nationalist espionage means:
A) They have the jaded, self-loathing, and angry sense of humor common to everyone on the Left.
B) They are genuinely deranged to the point that they believe that anyone who says anything except "Free, free Palestine," "Abortions for everyone" and "Ask me about my pronouns" is a Christian Nationalist.
C) Both A and B.
Related: Who Cares If Christians Don't Care About Trump's Religion?
Of course, as any sensible observer of the American landscape can tell you, most Progressives are, as mentioned above, so dense that they are their own event horizon. This fact was pointed out by multiple X users who offered their thoughts on Jeffery's concern.
Clara that’s very narrowminded of you, are you aware that there are other religions besides Christianity, and that they have their own versions of “blessing” people?
— Christina Pushaw 🐊 🇺🇸 (@ChristinaPushaw) September 28, 2024
Do you get alarmed if people say “bless you” after you sneeze?
— Frank Luntz (@FrankLuntz) September 28, 2024
I'm an atheist and your tweet is ridiculously paranoid and idiotic
— Clifton Duncan (@cliftonaduncan) September 28, 2024
Have a blessed day 🙏🏿
Expecting strangers to choose vocabulary that don’t offend *only you* sure is a special kind of narcissism
— Among the Wildflowers (@deaflibertarian) September 28, 2024
Bless your heart
— Kyle Mann (@The_Kyle_Mann) September 28, 2024
That last comment sums it up perfectly. Sure, the Progressives may take over the country and impose their version of martial law on all of us, but all we will have to say is "Have a blessed day," "Jesus loves you," or "God is good all the time," and it will leave them in a complete existential meltdown for hours. See? We can still win this! After all, the Progressives may be powerful, well-funded, angry, and completely irrational, but they are easily confused and frightened.
Bless their hearts.
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