Things are in such disarray at the DNC that voices are even calling for the Democrats' version of the Hawk Tuah Girl to take over the mantle of leadership. Desperate donkeys have turned to no other than Michigan's Gretchen Whitmer to fill in for the auguring Joseph Robinette Biden when nominations roll around.
Whitmer, of course, is best known for her draconian and ego-driven response to the COVID-19 panic. Of note, she took it upon herself to bar Michigan residents from buying vegetable seeds for their gardens in the name of...something. For all my former Michigan friends and fraternity brothers who loved to tell me how superior the Wolverine State is to the Buckeye State: No, it isn't. Vote out Whitmer, and then maybe...MAYBE you will have an argument. Until then, stop talking. You aren't doing yourselves any favors.
For her part, Gretch is still playing it close to the vest. Fox News reports that she has responded to comments that Biden cannot hold Michigan in the upcoming election with this eloquent response on X: "Anyone who claims I would say that we can’t win Michigan is full of sh**. Let’s go.”
Ah, enchanté. She has the face of Cruella de Vil, the ethics of Boss Tweed, the vocabulary of a longshoreman, and the media presence of Mr. Sluggo from SNL's long-lost "Mr. Bill" series. She is practically a Democratic calendar girl. What is not to love?
The X post comes on the heels of a Politico report that Whitmer spoke via phone to the Biden campaign, expressing concerns that the Resident of the United States could not carry the Wolverine State after his less-than-adequate turn on the debate stage last week. Whitmer is apparently still dutifully following the former party line of backing Biden, although she may believe his defeat is a foregone conclusion. Something which she seems to be denying, despite the fact that everyone else in the party is donning sackcloth and ashes until a savior arises, sometime around the DNC convention.
Methinks the lady, such as she is, doth protest too much. According to American Wire, there is an effort underway amongst the donkey donors to get Whitmer on the ticket:
A ‘Draft Gretch’ movement has unfolded with a blast email being sent out with a message from a former House member from Massachusetts.
'How can you not love a Governor who is affectionately called ‘Big Gretch’ by Detroit rappers, a Governor who faced down a kidnap attempt, and passed gun safety legislation in response,’ wrote Chet Atkins.
With the election hinging on Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania, Atkins contended that ‘no one knows and understands these voters the way she does.’
Bear in mind, this is the same governor who once appeared to her constituents as a talking potato.
Professor Potato and I are teaming up to share some news that will revolutionize higher education in Michigan.
— Governor Gretchen Whitmer (@GovWhitmer) January 23, 2024
This isn't just small potatoes, it's a game-changer! pic.twitter.com/AhIDBqjMrB
Be that as it may, American Wire said that in May, NBC's Chuck Todd told WDIV-TV, “There are a lot of people who believe that a Whitmer-Warnock ticket would be a stronger ticket for Democrats right now.” That prompted filmmaker and comedian Eric Abbenante to comment, “Then again, they could have chosen two random names, and they would have higher approval ratings than Biden-Harris.” Which is true. Even a potato would fare better than Biden at this point. However, it is interesting to note that even a month out from the debate debacle, Democrats were spitballing potential replacements. I could see a Newsom-Whitmer ticket in the future, but not quite yet. Whitmer does not have the presence or marquee value needed to pull off a presidential run, and the Democrats are not that desperate. Yet.
The Democrats may be in panic mode at present, but they are worthy of the intrigue of the Great Houses in Dune. The fearful voices you hear are not those of the decision-makers. There are plans within plans and feints-within-feints-within-feints. Biden may be done, and Whitmer may be nowhere ready for prime time. But there is more to come. Whatever nominee they roll out or summon via an ancient incantation, they will be playing for keeps this year.
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