There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, in the end, “Thy will be done.” All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. Those who knock it is opened.
― The Great Divorce
Growing up Episcopalian, I was exposed to no shortage of “feminist Christianity.” We had female priests when I was a kid, and to be completely honest, it was not a deal breaker for me. In fact, women’s ordination never approached the realm of being even slightly problematic until I tried to seek ordination myself.
I got my first whiff of it when I went to a retreat for aspirants to ordination. For those who are not members of mainline Protestant religions, retreats used to be all the rage. Discussions were held and guitars were occasionally strummed. Feminine pronouns were volleyed about like badminton birdies and faith was deconstructed. Coffee and tea were swilled, and a vanilla time was had by all. Usually, the upshot of these retreats was that everyone spent a great deal of time affirming what they already believed. And no one ever brought booze. At one such retreat, I considered disemboweling myself with my Swiss Army knife so I could be transported somewhere saner, like a busy metropolitan emergency room around midnight. But I digress.
At this particular retreat, one woman stood up and talked about the Wedding at Cana, as recounted in the Gospel of John. Specifically, she referred to this passage:
On the third day, there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”
Based on this exchange, the woman posited that Jesus was unable to begin his ministry until explicitly instructed to do so by his mother. As an Orthodox Christian, I hold the Theotokos in very high regard, but I do not believe that Christ, who was God incarnate, needed to wait for his mother’s permission to perform a miracle. I must admit that when this woman tried to convince us all that Mary was responsible for Jesus’ ministry, I looked around for a fire alarm I could pull. But that minor feat of theological gymnastics was nothing compared to what you are about to see below:
Via “Not the Bee”:
Follow this logic: Presbyterian Pastrix claims because it was GOOD for Eve to eat the fruit in the garden, we can trust her to make other GOOD choice like aborting babies. Check out this astonishing bible twist. https://t.co/G2nwp4uGcJ pic.twitter.com/bT9rOGYSEO
— Protestia (@Protestia) October 14, 2023
According to “Not the Bee,” this woman is a pastor at a Presbyterian church. Of course, given the trajectory and speed at which the Episcopal and Presbyterian churches are traveling, most will be shutting their doors soon as the last of the crunchy ’60s holdovers depart the planet, leaving only the smell of patchouli oil in the air and the remnants of NPR tote bags fluttering in the autumn wind. But impending obsolescence is no excuse for poor exegesis.
An interesting point in this screed is how the pastor accuses “her God” of lying to Adam and Eve. If God lies, then He is, by definition, not God. Or He is no better than the gods of Greco-Roman mythology or those of any other pantheon. How can she embrace a God who walks with her in her pain but also lies? Well, that is, of course, her interpretation of the story. It is a story in which she sets up Eve as the foundation of all wisdom and no less than the architect of morality. It is a sort of Gnosticism in that Eve disobeyed God at the behest of the serpent to access hidden knowledge. And, of course, the rationale is that this new interpretation, this new knowledge or gnosis, smashes the patriarchy. I didn’t even know that was a thing anymore. Are we still smashing the patriarchy? Of course, the whole discourse ends up as an apologetic exercise for abortion. Because there is no position into which mainline Protestant churches will not contort themselves to justify abortion.
Oddly enough, the pastor commits the same sin as Adam and Eve. Let us set aside, for a moment, the debate about how long it took to create the Earth. Let us examine the theme of Genesis, not the details. God calls His creation “good,” and in particular, he calls the creation and union of the man and the woman “very good.” And for that union to thrive, God has but one rule. Violating that rule means expulsion from paradise. One may not put one’s own wishes above those of God. The Fall is brought on by hubris and pride. It is, sadly enough, a condition that can easily afflict Christians of all stripes.
Now, some theologians have theorized that within the confines of the narrative, God may have permitted Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil when the appropriate time arrived. But in the narrative that we have, it is not a thirst for knowledge that condemns the first couple. It is disobedience. It is the desire to want more than they have been given, the setting aside of God’s will for their own. It is the idea that “I know better than God, and I will rewrite the rules to suit my desires.” It is the act of replacing God with oneself. Or, at the very least, the act of telling God who He is and dictating the parameters of the relationship. In such a case, God is no longer God but a tool, an excuse, a rationale, window dressing. Even perhaps a favorite toy. My blanket. My game. My car. My God. The God who validates me and does what I tell him to do. Who justifies my way of life and my choices. This pastor and others like her are essentially saying, “My will be done/On Earth as it is in Heaven.”
And we have seen in real time what the will of humanity has wrought.
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