Weekend Parting Shot: E-Bike Ride Abruptly Ends When the Money Runs Out

Writtenby, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons

Happy Friday, everyone. I will be involved in a LARP game this weekend. I’m calling it “Indiana Jones and the Quest of the Broken Sprinkler System.” Wish me luck.

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How exciting it is to live in the 21st century! A world of knowledge that is accessible through the phones in our pockets! Smart TVs and refrigerators! Alexa, which conveniently eavesdrops on our most intimate conversations in order to market hemorrhoid cream to us at the least opportune moment! It is indeed an age of wonders. And then of course there are e-bikes. You have the opportunity to own an e-bike, in which case you risk burning down your apartment. Or you can rent an e-bike. Then you risk being accosted by hoodlums or finding yourself in need of emergency dental work.

That is what happens when the rental time runs out before you reach your destination. Just like that: game over, face planted. James Woods has a point. Just how much will all this convenience eventually cost us? What happens when your smart fridge decides you could lose a few pounds and refuses to open the door? Suppose your water usage has been deemed excessive and you need to wait a week before you can do a load of laundry, shower, or even brush your teeth. Or let’s say your bank objects to the charities to which you donate or the sites to which you subscribe.

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Will an algorithm decide that you need assistance managing your money? Will your bank put you on an allowance drawn from your checking or savings accounts? For that matter, if the government-approved algorithm determines that your choice of television programs or browser history is subversive, will your access to the internet be terminated? And if so, to whom do you appeal? Who wants to try negotiating with an algorithm?

And our e-biker apparently did not even get a warning. No, the bike simply stopped when the money ran out. No more fun of any kind. I guess he had to drag it back to the nearest charging station. Hopefully, he got a ride to the ER. Therein lies the question Elon, Bill, Mark, and the others never get around to answering: what happens in the future when you find yourself in arrears or disagree with the popular propaganda and HAL 9000 decides to turn your pacemaker off?

Wine Recommendation: Now with 30% fewer bots!

If you are looking for a smooth, relaxing Cabernet Sauvignon, may I suggest the Ménage À Trois Bourbon Barrel? In addition to being smooth and silky, it is also bold. The bourbon barrel aging gives it a really nice rich and smoky oak flavor. And by bourbon barrels, I mean just that. This wine is aged in barrels that originally contained six-year-old Kentucky bourbon. And you can definitely taste it. There is a hint of caramel and a dash of blueberry and blackberry.

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This is a red that as usual can work well with beef or lamb, but it can also accent the taste of venison and goes surprisingly well with a chicken dish. Aside from enjoying it by the glass, it makes a great cooking wine, and I have on occasion sacrificed part of a bottle for a steak marinade. On top of that, you can usually find a bottle for under $12.00. So this weekend, buy one bottle for the steak and one bottle for you, and you should be good to go.

That’s it for me. Have a good weekend, and I’ll see you on Monday. Oh, and keep on biking.

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