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How NOT to Have the Birds and the Bees Talk With Your Son

via One Dad's Failed Sex Talk With His Sons | The Stir:

My boys are 7 and 9. So naturally, they're starting to get to that age. That age of curiosity. That age all parents dread. That age where it's time to talk about sex.

Since they're both boys, I'm guessing this talk is going to fall in my lap. Curse you, XY chromosomes! They've actually started asking a lot of questions lately (the boys, not the chromosomes) about "being in mommy's belly," so the clock is definitely ticking.

How is the whole conversation going to play out? I'm hoping, like a Band-Aid, it'll be quick and painless with no questions or interruptions at all. How do I think it's really going to go? Probably something like this.

"Boys, it's time we had a serious talk about something."

"I didn't do it! It was Ryan's fault," says my older son Jason.

"No, no. This isn't about ... wait, what did he do now?!? No, no. I can't get sidetracked. I need to talk to both of you about the birds and the bees."

"I don't like bees. They're mean. They sting!" says Ryan.

Read the whole thing. The conclusion is very funny.

How did you tell your children about where babies come from?