How to Make an Assassination Attempt Disappear With 1 Simple Trick

AP Photo/Evan Vucci

We are just over one month since a smelly, pimply-faced incel tried to assassinate Donald Trump. The FBI immediately began its "investigation," and that's when I knew we were in trouble.

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Not only have we learned next to nothing about the shooter, 20-year-old Thomas Matthew Crooks, but the mockingbird media mudpuppies have also memory-holed the shooting like it never happened.

Related: The Shot Ignored Around the World: It's Been One Month Since Trump Was Shot

Let's list what we know have been told by the vanilla, mainstream news yobbos about Crooks and his attempt to kill President Trump:

  • Crooks was a "lone wolf" (yawn, heard that one before).
  • He had three mysterious, overseas, encrypted accounts (but no one is talking about that anymore).
  • He was a math nerd (who cares?).
  • The FBI "can't" get into his phone (puh-LEASE, They got into the phone in about 40 minutes).
  • Crooks magically left almost no digital footprint.

FACT-O-RAMA! A phone "associated with the home and work addresses of the would-be assassin" visited a mall in Washington, D.C., near an FBI office.

The clamlike "investigation" of Crooks took a turn toward Creepytown yesterday when Rep. Clay Higgins (R-La.) requested to see Crooks' remains, only to learn that his body had been quietly turned over to the family for cremation a mere ten days after the shooting.

"My effort to examine Crooks’ body on Monday, August 5, caused quite a stir and revealed a disturbing fact… the FBI released the body for cremation 10 days after J13," Higgins wrote in a Preliminary Investigative Report to Chairman Mike Kelly. "On J23, Crooks was gone. Nobody knew this until Monday, August 5, including the County Coroner, law enforcement, Sheriff, etc. Yes, Butler County Coroner technically had legal authority over the body, but I spoke with the Coroner, and he would have never released Crooks’ body to the family for cremation or burial without specific permission from the FBI."

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Higgins was just getting started on the FBI and the Secret Service. He also revealed that:

  • The "USSS had never, prior to J13, assigned a counter-sniper team to a former POTUS, including Trump. However, they had two in Butler, Pa., one of which took out Crooks. 
  • Butler County offered the Secret Service radios to communicate with local cops, but they failed to pick them up.
  • The "FBI cleaned up biological evidence from the crime scene, which is unheard of. Cops don’t do that, ever."
  • The "FBI released the crime scene after just 3 days, much to everyone’s surprise. I interviewed several First Responders who expressed everything from surprise to dismay to suspicion regarding the fact that the FBI released the crime scene so early after J13. It should be noted that the FBI was fully aware of the fact that Congress would be investigating J13. The FBI does not exist in a vacuum. They had to know that releasing the J13 crime scene would injure the immediate observations of any following investigation."
  • The coroner's report and autopsy were due on August 5 but are "late."

FACT-O-RAMA! Higgins stated that a counter-sniper's bullet damaged Crooks' rifle. The kill shot entered on the left side of Crooks' mouth and exited near the right ear.

What have we learned?

About the assassination attempt? Next to nothing.

We learned that the FBI's "investigation" was suspicious, even to other members of law enforcement. Crooks' digital footprint and his body have disappeared. 

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We learned the Secret Service failed to pick up radios that would allow them to communicate with local law enforcement that day. They also had not one but two counter-sniper teams on duty, despite never having had a team at any former president's rally in the history of the Secret Service.

We never learned about the phone that pinged near an FBI office in Washington, D.C. 

The only good news is that Higgins stated that his investigation is just beginning.

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