Now wait a minute, KDJ, why would we want to make a perfect commie?
Let me explain. In New York City during the late 1800s, someone released a booklet of places to "avoid" lest ye find yourself in a house of ill repute. The pamphlet contained the addresses of various "dens of iniquity" as well as what they offered so that a visitor wouldn't "accidentally" find himself walking into the "Golden Rule Pleasure Club."
FACT-O-RAMA! The Golden Rule Pleasure Club was a brothel where men would pay to have s*x with young boys dressed as girls who spoke in falsetto voices.
The booklet was obviously an advertisement pamphlet disguised as something quite the opposite. So when you read this, use this as a list of things NOT to do so that we don't make any more Marxists. And maybe share it with your man-bunned bruh-in-law so he and his razor-dodging bride stop squeaking out future quislings.
FACT-O-RAMA! I am a former New York City liberal -- not a leftist. However, I know how leftists are created as I was pretty close to becoming one.
Recipe: The Malcontent
NOTE: This recipe works best when prepared in an upper-middle-class neighborhood. Make sure your future Stalin is privy to participation trophies. There can be no winning or losing as that would inspire the child to try harder. Slather with undeserved praise. Inisist zhit call you by your first names instead of "mom" and "dad." Never say "no" to the pinko sprig. Never correct zhim either.
The mother of the malcontent will tell the child he/she/zhim is "perfect" and "special." The father remains quiet in the face of the dominating, over-educated mother and allows her to condition the kid to a life of entitlement.
Though the mother will tell her progeny he is perfect, other kids will find the child's faults -- as happens to every kid -- and make fun of the child. Most kids learn to roll with this and fight back. Your future commie incel will be aghast that the world does not see zhe/zhim as the deity they think they are and thus will increasingly withdraw from society. Let this combo simmer for 14 years.
I'd hate the world too if my mom made me a six-year-old drag queen:
The mother of this 6-year-old drag queen says he started dancing and wearing dresses shortly after they took him to a drag show at age 4.
— Expose Them (@ExposeDarkDeeds) November 11, 2023
This is all the proof you need to see how impressionable kids are and to make sure they are never allowed to watch a drag performance. It's… pic.twitter.com/YxLd219SS2
Alone in their room, with a disturbing collection of online p*rnography, the "muffin" will further and further withdraw from a world that can not see the muffin as "special." The mother will further tell the muffin it is "exceptional" and the other kids aren't smart enough to notice. Anger and narcissism will encapsulate the muffin. Allow this situation to simmer for four more years.
After 18 years your muffin will begin to show physical signs of self-hatred. Hair may be dyed in various peacock colors or shaved off completely. What appears to be fishing tackle will hang from the ears, nose, and face of your little commie sprout. Look for trendy, fascist tattoos on or about the throat.
At this point, your budding bolshie will be showing signs of aggression and rebellion. Though the muffin will likely remain in your stately home as long as possible, and vampirically siphon you of food, shelter, money, and an education at a lavish school, it will lash out at these blessings, though not enough to actually move out and fend for itself.
Like many megalomaniacal communists, your muffin still yearns to feel "special" despite an unimpressive childhood. Your little Mao-mao may use popular "shortcuts" to stand out to feel "better than."
RELATED: Democrats Are Teaching Our Kids That Communism Is Normal
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One method of achieving notoriety without actually doing anything noteworthy is to "identify" as something outside of the vanilla, "normal" crowd.
Good thing you gave your your unimpressive child a gender-neutral name like Dylan, Parker, or Lindsey Graham because one way to be special these days is to jump onto the LGBTWTF bandwagon.
Long gone are the days when kids worked to excel at sports, in the classroom, or perhaps by doing good deeds for others. Today's green-haired powder keg needs only "identify" as something, and the world will be expected to "respect" the future Brown Shirt.
Being gay in the U.S. was, at one point, dangerous. Today, however, it is not merely safe but it is "cool." Now that generations of gay people have fought for gay rights, your little mollycoddle can safely jump aboard and pretend to be part of a so-called "victim class."
As I've written before, trans people walk on water in the U.S. But one needn't part ways with their genitalia to be cool. One can just as easily "identify" as something, such as a "bi - masc - boi," which roughly translates into a bisexual, masculine female who looks like a tomboy.
What if your son decides he is a "fem, demigender twink"? That means he likely makes a living selling "love" at a rest stop.
Also, for those kids too weak to say "I'm weird and I may -- or may not -- want to consider trying to be more normal," the new buzzword is "neurodiversity."
What is neurodiversity? Let's ask Harvard, where your kid will likely go for advanced communist indoctrination anyway:
Neurodiversity describes the idea that people experience and interact with the world around them in many different ways; there is no one "right" way of thinking, learning, and behaving, and differences are not viewed as deficits.
So being neurodiverse means your way of seeing things can't be wrong. That sounds healthy...
FACT-O-RAMA! The word "diversity" makes "neurodiversity" all the rage. Moms and dads love it too. Weak parents with no child-raisng skills can now say, "I didn't raise my kid to be a booger-chomping freakshow; he's neurodivergent."
The next step after that is a flagrant and vulgar attempt to take neurodiversity to the next level.
I've seen a huge rise in the number of people self-diagnosing themselves as having autism. When leftists aren't busy checking to see if their welfare cash hit the banks yet, they are happily pretending to now be on the spectrum. Real autism isn't a joke, and pretending to have it is an especially egregious tactic. It's a combo victim/get-out-of-responsibility-free card. The clowns playing this game clearly have never spoken to parents who care for kids with actual autism.
Now that your kid is bald, angry, bespeckled with tattoos, and has a face full of hula poppers, it's time for advanced commie brainwashing -- college!
PINKO-RAMA! Consider two students at Harvard. One is white with parents who had to pay her tuition. The other is black, and her tuition is paid for as a result of DEI. Where exactly is this "white privilege" we've heard so much about?
Spending four painfully expensive years at a fancy university is the topping on the communist cake your little Che Guevara will need to begin a life of terror.
You can not underestimate the effect of four years of brainwashing by likeminded intolerant com-symps, all united under one cause: to tear down the greatest nation ever built because "racism" or something.
Perhaps your Hammer and Sickle will get a job teaching, like this toilet person below:
Meet Ian Golash, a self-identified communist and history teacher at @SeaPubSchools who reportedly told students that identifying as "straight" is offensive.
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) January 12, 2024
He also handed out a "Social Index Wheel" worksheet which asked students to identify their race, gender, disabilities,… pic.twitter.com/MRs4wBakUy
Schools like Harvard, Yale, and Cornell offer more than indoctrination. They give mush-brained haters a safe space to practice their anti-Semitism, anti-capitalism, or whatever it is the Chinese are against this time around.
After four years of pinko pedagogy, your budding Beria will be ready to destroy the nation that has allowed him to grow up wealthy, entitled, and stupid. He will likely take a job that will eventually fire him in the name of diversity. He may take more of your money to start a business just to have it burned to ashes by people just like him in the name of _______ (insert name of the next George Floyd).
By the time your Marxy moron turns 40 years old, he will see the error of his ways. He will be living in a pod and eating Kraft macaroni and fleas. He will see his bank account frozen because he didn't "zig heil" long enough to his commie cadre. His digital girlfriend will cheat on him with a manly plumber.
It doesn't have to be this way. Talk to your left-leaning, hirsute sister and tell her it's ok if her son River doesn't wear a dress. There is no problem if her daughter Charlie plays "house" instead of "chief operating officer of Coca-Cola."
And stop feeding those kids vegan crap. Rabbits eat better than those children. They look gaunt and anxious. No wonder they hate the world. It all starts with mommy and daddy.
Let's keep the weekend yuks a poppin'. Check out this video from my good friends at Jokes and a Point. While the leftos weep and simper, patriotic Americans know how to have fun. Watch them before Big Brother hunts them down.
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