Yeah, I’m going there. I LOVE hate mail, so please send this to your bolshie sister-in-law and her demi-gender boi?-friend.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “You need a license to drive a car or catch a fish, but any idiot can be a parent.”
I always thought that idea was a little commie-rific, but now it’s starting to make sense.
Imagine the minefields that await a kid conceived in the womb of a lib.
For starters, a child conceived by a liberal woman must first dodge the onslaught of the mother’s pink-haired, salad-dodging, pro-choice, grotesquely unshaggable friends pushing for an abortion. He may read messages of doom written on uterine walls by his seven previous siblings who weren’t so lucky.
“Get out while you can! They’re coming for you!”
Normally that “clump of cells” only had to ride that threat out for 10 weeks or so, but today the wee baby fetus is at risk until birth, you know, in case mommy — I’ll call her Karen — gets invited to a smart party and needs to fit into that slinky, black dress for a night.
Should the blastosphere be allowed to slink from the womb — and hopefully dodge mommy’s six piercings on the way out — the child’s problems have only just begun.
ADVICE-O-RAMA! Gentlemen, if a woman’s labia looks like a tackle box, run!
First, what if the doctor sees the newborn has a penis and yet “misgenders” the infant and tags him as a boy? Imagine the devastating trauma little Dylan might endure as he grows up playing with Tonka Trucks instead of dolls. #SystematicTransHatredIsReal!
FACT-O-RAMA! If there is a boy in your neighborhood who plays with headless Barbies and goes by three names like “Otis Ray Hawthorne,” he will likely grow up to be a serial killer.
The child of a lib will not even know his/her/zhim/zham’s gender for at least 12 years, at which point the kid will be pressured by mommy to select a gender. And pressure it is.
Nothing makes a liberal mommy prouder than bragging to her friends that her little Dylan spent his 13th birthday coming out as a pan-transexual androgyne, just like dad! That’s why liberal mothers choose gender-free, low-T names like River, Avery, Hudson, Tanner, Elliot, and Lindsey Graham.
Dylan may need some urging to do the right thing by mommy. And what better way to get a boy to become a girl than by taking him to see grown men dressed as women shaking their junk, and be rewarded for doing so with a pile of $1 bills?
Liberal mothers actually bring their children to see grown men in dresses shake their genitals in the faces of their kids. When I was a kid, my dad took me to Red Wings games. When I was older, I played hockey. See how this works?
GRAPHIC WARNING
🚨 I attended another all ages drag brunch in Plano, TX over the weekend and the footage I have is shocking.
“My p*ssy good, p*ssy sweet
P*ssy good enough to eat…f*ck me all night”It gets worse. More footage to come. We WILL stop this. 🚨 pic.twitter.com/xVghUT0ORb
— Sara Gonzales (@SaraGonzalesTX) October 18, 2022
Good news, Dylan is a girl after all! Suddenly Karen is willing to cancel her 3 p.m. martini-fest to go dress shopping with her new “daughter.”
Never mind that more than 50% of trans kids will try to kill themselves. Mommy has friends to impress. Karen spews pride in every direction as she trades in Dylan’s tighty-whities for some satin tucking thongs from Etsy! Not to mention that putting Dylan in a dress is such a huge middle finger to those “crusty conservatives.”
FACT-O-RAMA! Liberals believe that white, Christian conservatives, (black Christians get a pass), “hate” the LGBTQANON crowd. But the truth hurts them even more: we don’t hate them; we just don’t care. If a grown man wants to wear a dress, have at it. We just don’t like watching the commies groom kids into their sickness. Let them grow up and become who they are. But they won’t do that because they know there are so few people who are actually suffering from gender dysphoria that they need to recruit young, impressionable kids. Why? because the left NEEDS a steady supply of victims.
Good news! Dylan has been a “girl” for four days. Karen can’t be happier because this gives her major street cred with the Marxist Mommy Club. But wait, what’s this? Nine of Dylan’s friends came out as “trans” on the same day? Ugh. Avery’s mom is already talking about a phalloplasty. Karen decides to schedule an appointment to have Dylan’s pesky penis removed, as well as that horrible, testosterone-producing scrotum, ASAP. Karen will not be out-libbed.
Wouldn’t you know it? Lefty doctors are eager to push a nervous Dylan to undergo numerous surgeries (cha-CHING!). Let’s start hacking Dylan up, stat!
Related: Against All Odds: Mother Tells How Her Daughter and Every One of Her Friends Are Suddenly Trans
Three years have gone by since Dylan’s “transition” surgeries. Despite spending over $100,000 on one vaginoplasty, one labiaplasty, and two vulvoplasty surgeries, Dylan is still urinating through his vagina.
Absolutely horrific. Transgender tiktoker details complications from Phalloplasty surgery. At age 27, this once healthy individual now poops in a bag and has trouble during physical relationships. pic.twitter.com/IFGTu5P0Fe
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) August 15, 2022
Dylan seems depressed and can’t hold a job. Dylan thinks he might want his penis back. Most of his “trans” friends from a few years ago got older and realized they weren’t trans after all; they just wanted to be cool, get a lot of attention, and rack up a bunch of “Likes” on Facebook. Thank God they didn’t have any surgeries. More importantly, Dylan is really angry. Angry at the doctors, and Karen specifically, for allowing this to happen. And all the libs who supported Dylan’s transition are now attacking him on social media for wanting to be his true self.
Related: More and More Transgender People Are Getting Attacked by the Left for Regretting Decision to Transition
After three years of drug abuse and two attempted suicides, Dylan has finally won. A disappointed Karen has agreed to sell the summer house so that Dylan can get his penis back. No, he can’t ever be a father, and those years of estrogen will require a double mastectomy, but Dylan will spend his 21st birthday drinking beer in a bar with the rest of the boys. And the Mommy Marxist Club loves trash-talking Karen. She was so arrogant back then, wasn’t she?
I don’t know of any conservative parents who would happily take their son to change his sex on a whim. If I told my dad I wanted to be a girl, I suspect any surgeries I received would be to fix the damage I received when I was thrown through the garage door.
Let’s kick off the weekend with a funny video from my friends at “Jokes and a Point.” Ben Shapiro shared one of their videos, so needless to say, liberals hate them. But remember, libclowns are about as funny as a face full of pimples monkeypox on prom night. Republicans know how to throw a party and a punchline, so please check them out.
