World Naked Bike Riders in St. Louis Exposed Penises and Vaginas, Sexually Molesting My Kids

People gather in Cathedral Park to take part in the World Naked Bike Ride in Portland, Ore., on June 23, 2018. The annual worldwide ride highlights the vulnerability of cyclists, and decries society's dependence on pollution-based transport. (Photo by Alex Milan Tracy/Sipa USA)(Sipa via AP Images)

This evening my two children were molested by liberals and the sexual revolution.

My family and I are currently in St. Louis on our family vacation. We like to do road trips, and St. Louis is in the middle of our extended road trip, stopping at cities and sites that expose our kids to many of the cool things and places that this country has to offer. What my wife and I did not plan on was exposing our children to a large group of fully nude adults.


After a fun day of exploring the famous St. Louis Gateway Arch and enjoying a riverboat cruise on the Mississippi River, we stopped at a local restaurant for dinner before returning to our Airbnb. The restaurant, Square One Brewery & Distillery, was great. Good food, excellent service, delicious craft beer and liquor, and a fun time laughing with our kids as we recounted our day of being cheesy tourists.

As we left, our route was blocked by a large group of cyclists — a large group of nude cyclists. Unbeknownst to my wife and me, we had stopped to eat smack-dap in the middle of the St. Louis World Naked Bike Ride’s route. Leaving the restaurant, my wife commanded, “Look out the back window, kids.”

Of course, and through no fault of my wife, our kids looked out the front window and were exposed to hundreds of nude adults. Some of the bike riders flagrantly stood up on the pedals and flaunted their nudity to the waiting cars. In legal terms, I’m pretty sure that is referred to as “indecent exposure.”

After escaping by making a quick turn in the wrong direction, our GPS rerouted us. To our dismay, we soon found ourselves stopped at an intersection as the entire parade of nude adults pedaled past our car. Our two children, both minors, were exposed to adults gleefully exposing their penises and vaginas. After about five minutes, the “parade” of nudity passed and we drove to our Airbnb.


However, as I write this, we are trapped in our Airbnb as the St. Louis World Naked Bike Ride rides past the house. I can hear their profane shouts as they express their lustful glee. It is everything that I can do to keep from going outside and confronting them. I feel violated and I am angry. It is not okay that a group of adults can openly flaunt their nudity and imprison my family inside.

I called 911 and was told, “We’ll check on it.”

If I were to strip my clothes off and enter either of my kids’ schools, I would be arrested. Going a step further, if I were to strip off my clothes and walk around my neighborhood, I would be arrested. And rightfully so. Society recognizes the need to protect children (and other adults) from predators. Why, then, does society allow a large group of adults to parade their nudity in front of children under the guise of a bike ride?

According to a quick Google search:

In Missouri, it’s illegal to expose your genitalia to others in public, thereby alarming them. While this crime is commonly referred to as indecent exposure, it’s known as “sexual misconduct” in Missouri. As with other states, exposing your genitals to children brings on harsher penalties.

My kids, my wife, and I were “alarmed” by the nudity. My kids were exposed to the genitalia of adults. The sexual misconduct by the St. Louis Naked Bike Ride violated the state of Missouri’s statute. Sadly, the St. Louis Police Department was unable (or unwilling) to do anything about the fact that my kids were molested and violated by the St. Louis Naked Bike Ride.


The officer who returned my 911 call dismissively said, “We can only enforce laws that we see or have evidence of [being broken].”

He then asked me if I had any of the names of the individuals who had exposed their genitalia to my kids. Of course, I was unable to provide him with any names. When I asked him if as a police officer he would encourage a private citizen (me) to confront the riders in order to get their names, he responded in the negative. According to the St. Louis Police Department, it would’ve been unwise for me to have attempted to get the names of those guilty of indecent exposure. However, he added, “If you had called during the middle of it…”

I interrupted him and said, “I did call during the middle of it.”

At that point, he pleaded off by claiming that he couldn’t do anything about it. After I informed him that I was writing this article, he did provide me with the St. Louis Police Department’s Media Relationship Department. I called the number (314-444-5603) and got their voice mail.

During the phone call with the St. Louis Police Department officer, I was told that the city of St. Louis issues the permit and there is nothing that the police department can do about it. However, he did tell me that it was his understanding that the riders were to cover up their genitalia and females were to wear pasties over their nipples. At least 50 percent of the bike riders violated that rule, but the St. Louis Police Department shrugged it off. In fact, during the parade, St. Louis Police officers were escorting those guilty of indecent exposure.


Tonight, my kids were exposed to the genitalia of adults by permission of the city of St. Louis and under the protection of the St. Louis Police Department. I’m willing to bet that the #MeToo movement doesn’t care that my wife and children were molested tonight by St. Louis’ Naked Bike Ride. If you want your kids molested too, then vote Democrat this fall. If you want to protect children, then vote in a way that makes sure that the “Blue Wave” doesn’t happen. Also, if you want to protect your children from government-sanctioned molestation, then you should avoid the city of St. Louis.


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