Suspicious Federal Employee Reported

If you see something, say something:

Dear Mr. President,

I’ve come to understand from the Drudge Report and the McClatchy News Service that as part of an Insider Threat Program you have encouraged federal employees to monitor other federal employees for any suspicious behavior, specifically:

Federal employees and contractors are asked to pay particular attention to the lifestyles, attitudes and behaviors – like financial troubles, odd working hours or unexplained travel – of co-workers as a way to predict whether they might do “harm to the United States.”

Although I’m not a federal employee, I did want to take this time to report some very suspicious behavior by a high-ranking government official whom I and many others have been observing for some time. This person’s work schedule seems to be quite erratic. To say that he has “odd working hours” would be an understatement. He repeatedly claims to be working on the “people’s business” but has been known to spend an inordinate amount of time (at taxpayers’ expense, mind you) on the golf course, taking his family on numerous vacations, traveling all over the country to get money from people or to raise money for some of his pet projects, and throwing lavish parties with celebrities. Given many of the responsibilities of his office, it seems quite clear that this person is ignoring his work.

If this person’s responsibilities were fairly benign, this probably wouldn’t be so alarming. He is, however, a very highly-placed official, and on his watch an ambassador in Libya and three other Americans were brutally killed. Yet this person can’t even account for his whereabouts during the hours when this horrific event was taking place. Can you believe that? Isn’t that deplorable?

I’m pretty sure that this person has the highest of security clearances, which even you would have to admit is quite astonishing since he has admitted to using illegal drugs as a youth, having made a close friendship with a member of the Communist Party USA, and later becoming friends with two unrepentant domestic terrorists from the late 1960s (former members of the Weather Underground, actually). I mean, how does that happen?

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Heh. Of course, I’ve already reported myself to Attack Watch for political re-education merely for reading such doubleplusungood thoughtcrime.

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