Ed Driscoll

As Always, Life Imitates Monty Python

Outlaw limes, and only outlaw chefs will have them:

A chef was stunned to find she was almost banned from buying two limes from a supermarket – because they could be classed as a weapon.

Marisa Zoccolan, 31, popped into the new Asda supermarket close to her home in Wallsend, North Tyneside, to pick up some groceries, including the citrus fruits.

But when she tried to pay for them at the self-service checkout, the message ‘amount exceeded, authorisation required’ flashed up.

An assistant then came over and told her that more than one lime was deemed a weapon – because the citric acid could be squirted in someone’s eye.

Marisa, a self-employed caterer said: ‘I thought they were taking the pip, but the assistant told me the same applied to lemons.

‘I’ve heard of supermarkets banning people from buying things before, but this is just crazy.

‘I scanned the first lime and put it in the bag, scanned the second but then the ‘amount exceeded’ message came up on the screen.

‘The assistant came over and tried to authorise it but the same message flashed up, so she went away to speak to someone higher up.

‘I thought she was having a laugh when she came back and told me more than one lime is classed as a weapon.

‘I asked her why. Was it because they can be thrown?

‘But no, it’s because they contain citric acid which could be squirted in someone’s eyes. How ridiculous is that?’

Thankfully for Ms Zoccalan, who lives with partner Jacqui Nicholson, 37, and dog Doobie, the assistant allowed Marisa to eventually buy both of the fruits.

‘Yes, they vetted me and let me buy them.

‘I clearly don’t look like I’m going to carry out a drive-by fruiting any time soon.

Well, that’s what you say, sister. Some of us are a bit more prepared: