Ed Driscoll

Meet the London Times' Newest Health Columnist

“He has survived plane and quad-bike crashes, drug and alcohol addiction, mental breakdowns and dysfunctional family life to become a world authority on pharmacology, neurology, psychology and hypochondria. Meet our new under-the-counter health columnist, Dr Ozzy.”

Malcolm Muggeridge could not be reached for comment.

(Incidentally, rock stars wishing to quit drugs, quit drinking a case of Jack Daniels a day, and give up Satanism merely need to read Ozzy’s column backwards to find pure health and tranquility.)