Scrappleface’s Scott Ott satirically writes, “Justice Dept. to Probe 9/11 FDNY Actions”:
U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder today announced that in addition to appointing a federal prosecutor to investigate allegations of abuse during CIA interrogations of terrorism suspects, the Justice Department would probe the actions of the New York City Fire Department on September 11, 2001.
“While the vast majority of FDNY firefighters performed admirably that day,” said Mr. Holder, “there have been reports that some of them shouted at people who were fleeing the World Trade Center Towers, and damaged property in violent ways that may have startled onlookers.”
Emergency services advocates claim the firefighters were just doing their jobs, trying to save lives, and that in fact thousands of persons owe their current existence to the successful efforts of the FDNY.
However, Mr. Holder said, “the ends cannot justify the means. Justice must be done.”
In related news, President Barack Obama announced today the creation of a new “elite fire fighting unit” which will report directly to the White House and follow a new, “more civil protocol” when responding to major disasters.
Related: “WTC 9/11 Memorial Beam Returns As Reminder of Those Americans Who Started Torturing Terrorists That Fateful Day.”