Klaatu Keanu Nikto!

John Nolte and Christian Toto watch Keanu Reeves’s pointless remake of the classic 1951 sci-fi gem, The Day The Earth Stood Still so you don’t have to. (Incidentally, when Hollywood makes yet another global warming movie and even the leftwing critics don’t like it, you know the celluloid deserves to be cut up into guitar picks.)

Meanwhile, Glenn Reynolds notes that the producers chose to digitally beam the film into space. If there’s life on other planets, how will they respond?

Probably with two messages:

1. Make better movies. Which is what aliens told Woody Allen in his self-indulgent, surrealistic Stardust Memories from 1980.

2. Send more Chuck Berry! To borrow the punchline of an early Saturday Night Live sketch when a Voyager probe from 1977 sent an LP into space that included the classic “Johnny Be Goode” amongst its recordings.

Update: Get a load of the screenshot that accompanies “Klaatu barada crappo” at Protein Wisdom.