Infectious Awareables??

I was browsing through eBay when I came across a line of ties called, staggeringly enough, Infectious Awareables, Inc.

I’m not sure this is at all a good concept, and here’s why. Imagine you leave work late for a singles’ bar, meet someone cute, get to talking, hit it off, and she says, “hey, what an interesting tie!”

How well will a phrase like this go over? “Oh that? That’s my Gonorrhea tie! I couldn’t decide if the Herpes or the West Nile tie went the best with this suit, so I figured I’d play it safe and go with the ol’ Gonorrhea pattern and a Windsor knot. Whatdya think?!”

Stick with Ralph Lauren, kids. Trust me on this!

(I wish I had known of this line when Steve Green was doing his “50 Words and Phrases Not to Use on a First Date” list. This would surely qualify.)