LET THE ONE-LINERS BEGIN: Orrin

LET THE ONE-LINERS BEGIN:

Orrin Judd: “And here we’d always heard that Strom Thurmond had the best constituent services operation in the Senate…”

Stephen Green (channeling Robin Williams): “JFK Jr Jr”

Bill Clinton (via Scott Ott): “I finally see a candidate with whom I can identify. I was withholding my endorsement until I found a candidate who would resonate with mainstream Democrats the way I did. John F. Kerry is the man.”

Teresa Heinz Kerry:

“I don’t think I could have coped so well” with a mate’s philandering as Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) has. “I used to say to my husband, my late husband, ‘If you ever get something I’ll maim you. Not kill you, just maim you.’ And we’d laugh, laugh, laugh.” Heinz adds that she has never had any reason to suspect either of her husbands. “Not for one day, because what I expect of them, they have a right to expect of me. Maybe I’m into 18-year-olds.” At which Heinz’s campaign handler, former political journalist Chris Black, cautioned bleakly: “That was a joke.”

As Roger L. Simon wrote today, “If [italics and bold mine] it proves out that Kerry could not keep it in his pants in the Post Monica Era, in all probability a strong part of him didn’t want the job”.

UPDATE: These guys are probably bummed about today’s events.