MY MOM WILL HATE THIS

MY MOM WILL HATE THIS ONE. Reason’s Daily Brickbat column has this fast breaking story:

Pennsylvanians Saved From Depraved Bingo Nights (11/1)
Pennsylvanians can play the lotto and bet on ponies. They may soon be able to play slots or gamble on river boats. But they can’t play bingo at Wal-Mart.

For years, the discount chain has permitted weekly bingo games. There was no admission fee, no charge to play, and no betting. The district attorney in Lebanon County has nonetheless decided the games violate the state’s “small games of chance” law, which allows only state-licensed, not-for-profit community organizations to run bingo games. Wal-Mart asked the state to change the law. But Republican lawmakers voted down the idea, concerned that it would promote gambling.

Bingo at Wal-Mart! The next thing you know, certain words will be creeping into your conversation: words like…swell. And “so’s your old man!” Well if so my friends, you got trouble. Right here in Monongahela City. With a capital T! And that rhymes with B! And that stands for Bingo!

(With my sincerest apologies to Robert Preston and The Music Man.)