This is rule number 5 in Jordon Peterson’s new book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. I am glad a psychologist finally decided to state the obvious. Unlike Dr. Spock, who ruined generations of kids and their parents, Peterson’s advice is good when it comes to parenting.
Peterson says that modern parents are paralyzed by the fear that they will no longer be liked or even loved b their children if they chastise them for any reason. “They want their children’s friendship above all and will sacrifice respect to get it. This is not good.” No, it is not and Peterson’s discussion of the reality of what children are like and why is refreshing, and needs to be read by everyone in this country who is a parent, a politician or anyone who interacts with kids (which is basically just about everyone).
Peterson describes a child striking his mother in the face. “Why would he do such a thing? It’s a stupid question. It’s unacceptably naive. The answer is obvious. To dominate his mother. To see if he can get away with it. Violence,after all is no mystery. It’s peace that’s the mystery. Violence is the default. It’s easy. It’s peace that is difficult: learned, calculated, earned.”
If only our society could understand this simple logic. But it seems that it can’t. Much of our society is made up of Dr. Spock loving-fools who think that being a kid’s friend and not curtailing his or her creativeness will lead to success. But it is exactly the opposite. Teaching discipline, sublimation and control are the key to teaching kids to have a consistently better life when they are adults but some kids never get the opportunity to learn this because their parents and authority figures want them to pacify them for their own convenience or needs.
There are many other gems in Peterson’s book, if you have not read it, grab a copy. It’s quite interesting.