Why is it we always hear about how sensitive and “empathetic” women are when it comes to relationships? It seems that women’s ability to understand what men’s emotions are is fair at best and often poor. Take this example from an article in the New York Post (via Instapundit):
We’ve all read the articles and blog posts about how to stop yelling at the kids. But for me, my shouting was aimed in a different direction — at my husband.
So I decided to see if applying the same rules about not yelling at my hubby would yield the same benefits as it does with kids.
I started out thinking I’d simply “not yell anymore.” I managed it for a few days, but as all my projects and hobbies tend to go, it wasn’t long until I slid back into old habits.
I also found while the concept of “no yelling” challenges had the similar benefits for children and adults alike, the methodology and reasons behind it differ greatly….
“Parenting challenges us in ways that we never think possible,” says registered counselor Hailee Walker. “We become more emotionally, physically and mentally stretched. When we are so stretched we lose our emotional and mental pliability, our ability to stay cool under pressure becomes limited,” she says.
“Often we lash out at our partners more so than the children because we have a different expectation of our partners than we do our children. We accept that children are still learning and making mistakes however we expect our partners to be our parenting equal,” she says.
Then, Walker drops this truth bomb that was certainly the crux of my problem:
“We want them to do what we would do and without having to tell them. When we are already stretched to our maximum capacity we want our partner to know this.”..
If you ever get the feeling someone is avoiding you, you’re probably right. I know this, because once the heat was off, and we talked about where things had been at, that confession came up — he would go out of his way to not spend time with me.
We also had sex more. Which didn’t come from him. By talking to my husband with the same respect I used to, I was back in his trust — he could tell me the good and the bad, the funny and the annoying stuff.
One of the biggest turn-offs for men is disrespect from their spouse and yelling is a form of disrespect when done inappropriately as this woman was doing. At least this women recognizes that she had a problem. There are many wives who do not and they yell and act disrespectful of men and then wonder why men avoid them. That doesn’t sound very empathetic to me.