Why Pundits Need To Eat a Healthy Breakfast Before Going on Fox and Friends

Alex Alvarez at Mediate had a little fun with Dick Morris this morning, highlighting this silly prediction he made on Fox and Friends on Newt Gingrich’s comeback potential:

Yeah, he sure can. I think Newt could very well win in South Carolina. And if he does, then you have a real contest in Florida and down the road. If Romney wins in South Carolina, this is basically over, because then he’ll go on to win in Florida easily and we won’t have much to talk about in the mornings.

Morris is a sharp political analyst who frequently knows what he’s talking about. But the author of 2005’s Condi Vs Hillary: The Next Great Presidential Race does not have a worthwhile track record when it comes to political prophecy. Right now Romney leads Gingrich in South Carolina by 11%.

Mediate has this funny observation inspired by one of Morris’s goofy metaphors:

And then we began to wonder if perhaps Morris hasn’t had breakfast yet. He noted that “Gingrich put out red meat” during Monday’s debate, but that Rick Santorum had served “white meat of chicken.” And, because this was a GOP debate, “no one served pork.” Won’t someone get this man a Sausage McMuffin?

The past few years I had McDonald’s for breakfast too much. Though my drug of choice was usually the Bacon and Cheese Biscuit:

But it’s been several weeks now since I’ve devoured a steaming breakfast sandwich and crunched on its golden hash brown companion. April and I vowed to try and improve our diet this year. Because as I stare at the above image while typing these words my mouth waters but my stomach and the rest of my digestive system gurgle and retract in terror. I might enjoy eating the food but it’ll just be painful later twisting around in my stomach, not to mention the “attention” required later near completion of the intestinal voyage.

But those problems don’t happen when I mostly eat non-processed foods.

At this point the GOP primary is a bit like the menu Morris sounds off on — the polemical red meat and conservative purity tastes great when we take a bite on it but eventually we have to digest it. And as many have observed and lamented — the candidates in this race are not the party’s first tier. They’re the Fast Food of Republican presidential candidates. And we expect the American people to chow down?

If we’re going to serve the American people a conservative burger then he or she had better be made of kobe beef. If that’s not available then a Salad Bar Republican — un-offensive and with something for everyone — will suffice: