It's Gotta Be Bad When the Dead Don't Even Like You


Elaine requests, “In lieu of flowers, please do not vote for Hillary Clinton”.

One line tucked into the bottom of a rather extensive, surprisingly impressive obituary of a New Jersey woman who passed before her time has caught the national eye.

And they say everyone in New Jersey votes Democrat.

Elaine Fydrych was a lifelong actress who pursued the theater at the expense of a burgeoning stand-up career. But, as it turns out, she wound up getting the last laugh on Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. This “loving daughter,” “beloved wife” and “devoted mother” went out with a bang. While her childhood appearance on the Philadelphia kids’ show Chief Halftown may have only garnered her local success, she will forever be a national name after her obit hit the Internet.

Elaine’s last words have taken political activism to a newer, more impressive height. It isn’t every day someone despises a candidate enough to incorporate their failure into a dying request. Kudos to her family for having the guts to print it. Then again, they probably want to leave the haunting done by Elaine’s discontented spirit to the denizens of the South Jersey area who don’t take her advice. Or, perhaps, to Hillary’s tour bus. After all, spirits can travel right to the source.

Personally, I would’ve aimed for Sanders, Trump and Bush in that order before Hillary. But she’s as good a target as any. The feminist mafia’s inevitable assertion of Elaine’s lack of sisterhood spirit will take on an especially creepy undertone. I’m sure Steinem will pull out her Ouija Board to address Ms. Fydrych personally. My guess is her manicured hands will be directed to the letters “H-A” at least twice over.

Dear Ms. Elaine Fydrych, wherever you are (personally I believe it is quite heavenly in your locale), thank you for giving us all a good chuckle.