5 Things Distraught Lefties Can Do to Continue Their Bolshie Fight Against Free Speech Now That They've Lost Twitter

(AP Photo/Richard Drew, File)

The freedom-hating bolshies on the left took a swift workboot to their non-binary lady-nuts today when Elon Musk bought Twitter.

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But first, let’s start with a little Twitter meltdown fun! Check out the whining from my fellow caucasian Shaun King.

I’d think King would be proud to see Elon Musk, a real African-American, take the helm of the world’s digital town square.

This beast pretended to be a Native American for power and her own personal gain.

David Hogg, the prag who stood on the bodies of his dead classmates to spew his anti-gun codswallop, did what he does best and used Musk’s takeover of Twitter to bring attention to himself.

Here is a gem! Agrawal is the First Amendment-hating commie who took over when Jack Dorsey was sent to the Twitter cornfield.

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Ok, enough silliness. Let’s make plans for the pinkos whose eyes are still moist from Musk taking over Twitter. Here are five places where our Marxy friends can continue their fight against Freedom of Speech.

# 5 Myspace

Gettr, MeWe, and now Twitter are brimming with the horrible freedom to say what you like. Facebook is still chock full of authoritarianism, but that isn’t enough. The next battleground to exude the Stalin-like power to cancel people will be Myspace.

Like that old El Camino rusting next to your white trash cousin’s house (actually, his mom’s house), Myspace sits there, alone, waiting for the right person to bring it back to its former glory. Myspace is the perfect place for commies to regroup, reassess, and continue their righteous fight to keep Americans quiet when they don’t toe the line. With any luck, they’ll pry open the hood and find a Hemi.

The people below screaming at an unmasked woman are the same Nazis who are crying over Twitter falling into the hands of a patriot.

# 4 Smoke Signals

Smoke signals probably haven’t been used since the Cleveland Indians team was born in 1869. It’s currently a wide-open platform for pesky, free discussions and ripe for take-over. Otherwise, the New York Post might blow truthful smoke signals about Hunter Biden’s laptop, and the left just can’t have that. The only obstacle the Democrats might encounter here would be the problem of cultural appropriation.

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FACT-O-RAMA! The soon-to-be unemployed Twitter skanks kicked the New York Post off their platform for breaking the Hunter Biden laptop story, which turned out to be real. They booted conservatives at will. The question now is, will President Trump return to Twitter?

# 3 Truth Social

PLEASE ask Trump to sell you Truth Social! PLEASE!

# 2 Fortune Cookies

Asians have been fleeing the Democrat party faster than green devil-vomit from Regan MacNeil.

In this publicity image released by Warner Bros. Entertainment, Linda Blair portrays a possessed Regan MacNeil in a scene from,

Now is a great time to shore up votes from a group that has gone full-on for the party of elephants. I highly suggest leftists first stop ignoring all the black voters who push Asians in front of subway trains. Oops, never mind — the Democrats have no problem garnering votes from people who are dead.

FACT-O-RAMA! The Dems were all about #StopAsianHate until they realized the violence wasn’t caused by white goobers in MAGA hats.

# 1 CNN+

Serendipity, anyone? CNN+, the premature ejaculator of news sites, has had its 20-minute respite and is ready to roar again. Their now-former employees haven’t even had time to clean out their cubicles. Chris Wallace never got to sit at his desk, naked, swaddled in his exclusive CNN+ Snuggy. It’s time to get the band back together.

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Musk buying Twitter is yet another victory for patriotic, free-speech-loving people worldwide, especially conservative Americans. I’m celebrating with a couple of cold beers and a Monte Cristo.

How do you celebrate the flow of liberal tears? Please leave your victorious comments below. No need to be nice! They wanted this war, and they got it!

Related: Libs Spending the Weekend Licking Their Wounds While the Good Guys Rejoice

P.S. More good news!

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