Culture

Are You a Commie or a Patriot? Take the Test Before the War Begins!

Patrick M. Reed

We are not approaching a Civil War, we’re looking at a revolution. Whether we like it or not, the commies are in control. We don’t want to choose sides but we may not have a choice. Which side will you be on? Not sure? Let’s find out.

Here is a test to see if you are a patriotic American or a red, white, and pinko bolshevik.

1 When Don Lemon tells you that the nightly riots in Seattle are “mostly peaceful.” You…

A. Plan a trip to see the Space Needle

B. Yell at your liberal sister-in-law for leaving your TV on CNN

2 Twelve members of Antifa stop your car and drag your spouse onto the street. You…

A. Yell “trans lives matter” as your significant other is pummeled, hoping they will see you are down with the cause

B. Thank God you don’t live in a state with a 10-round magazine capacity restriction

3 You are hosting a pool party for your kid’s class. A mother tells you that her 13-year-old son, Connor, will be there. He is transitioning into a girl and will be wearing a bikini. You…

A. Quietly suggest the other boys consider wearing a bikini to make Connor feel included

B. Quietly report Connor’s “birthing person” to Child Protective Services

4 Your 18-year-old daughter tells her a black guy is picking her up for a date. You…

A. Take pics of them and post them on Facebook so your friends can see how liberal you and your family are. Virtue-signaling is FUN

B. The same thing you do when white guys take her out: make sure he sees you cleaning your .357 magnum.  After all, it’s all about equality

5 You’re at a college football game. The players run onto the field and they are all men. You yell…

A. “It would be nice to see some gender-neutral players for a change!”

B. “Let’s Go, Brandon!”

6. Your teen tells you his teacher is grooming him to be a communist. You know that going to a school board meeting to complain will make you a “domestic terrorist” to the FBI. You…

A. Tell your son that Karl Marx had some good points and to keep an open mind when studying

B. Go to the school board meeting, demand the teacher be fired, show your son a picture of your dad in the Korean War, and email Merrick Garland directions to your house

7. You see a sign on a door of a pub that reads: “Must show proof of vaccination and ID.” It’s the only bar within 50 miles. You…

A. Show proof of vaccination and ID

B. Summon your inner Lou Dobbs and tell the man-bunned hipster behind the bar to pour you a bourbon and call the cops, dammit

If you picked “B” for your answers, congrats! You are a right-minded patriot! Enjoy your freedoms, knowing that they are worth fighting for. You may have to do so in the near future.

If you picked “A,” you’re cordially invited to Bernie Sanders’ annual “Taste of Venezeula” picnic, where you and your family have to fight for food. No guns allowed.

Now would be a GREAT time to fight for your right to read REAL news—news for conservatives, written by people with your values. Become a VIP member today and fight against the tyrants in Big Tech and bogus cable news outlets. Don’t let them silence the patriots.